Lived Experience Forum

[Appleblossom]

I was awake yesterday at 4am too @Mazarita but decided against logging on .. I keep laptop in another room to discourage night use.  My hyper arousal is pretty huge ..

I have been getting huge dark rings under my eyes ..not a vanity thing it is just that they jump out at me ... remind me yeah .. I am often not getting rest ..

Hope you and kids are ok @Former-Member

[Mazarita]

@Appleblossom The laptop in another room is a good idea. I use a desktop in the main room. I'll be putting myself to bed before midnight tonight (aka after this post). Hoping to get up at 7am for a tai chi class. When you say 'hyper arousal', do you mean you feel 'wired' a lot? I go slow in my movements mostly. Inside I often feel agitated or 'hyper aware'. I get rings under my eyes too, they vary from day to day. I wonder for myself if it's partly just an ageing thing. That helps me feel a more bit accepting. Is it possible for you to rest more if you need that? It's obvious that music is very strongly interwoven with your life. Hope you have a restful sleep tonight. 🙂

[Former-Member]

Sigh just tapped out a post and my authentication was denied!! Whatever that means... Forums be nice!!
It's good where we are i do feel safer but it's hard being away from home. The kids are young enough that they just think we are having a holiday. But it's hard to keep them entertained. I'm lucky that they are a good distraction though. Unfortunately I also have an infection and needed some heavy duty antibiotics that are making me crook too. Sigh! Hope your tai chi is good apple blossom
Lj

[Appleblossom]

Thanks for your response ... I thought I was indulging myself with the rest .. I slept in til 4pm one day this week ...

I move relatively slowly but much better and more flowing than I did when I was 40ish and marriage and health was at its worst. I looked and moved like I was 80 then.  I have been trying to look after myself in last 15 years .. and so was surprised when that fellow said I looked young for age ... but the bags under eyes maybe a sign of my head aches that I dont pay any attention too ... I feel like my brain is bursting out of my head all the time .. I just push myself ... but something is still out of whack ... so maybe I should ... it has just been hard to get right health care ...I am not too worried in the sense that I have a heaps better lifestyle .. anyway I am going to bed now too ...

I have one appointment tomorrow and to take son busking.

@Mazarita The girl who we saw singing in the choir would barely speak to a soul when I first met her 2 years ago ... she doesnt socialise with anyone in the choirs ... just goes, sings, is minimally polite and leaves quickly ... she always wanted to sing but never knew how to get involved ...  I told her .. just join a choir ... now she is in 3 ... she had been very isolated and home schooled... it is great to see her flourish .. there were some top world standard talent on that stage today .. my son was able to meet a pianist he had researched on line ... though the student orchestra was a bit enthusiastic and drowned out the piano player a bit ... it wasnt perfect ... I think her dad was very grateful today.

Good night ...

[Mazarita]

Back again almost two hours later. Breathing exercises helped relax for a while but concentration failed and agitating thoughts flooded in. After a while of trying to sleep I have to get up to calm down a bit before trying again, which I'll do in about 10 minutes. This is still better than when I joined the forum a couple of months ago, living dusk to dawn a lot. 

That's a wonderful story about your friend, the quiet singer, @Appleblossom. Goodnight or good morning, depending on when you read this message.

[Appleblossom]

Yes it is a lovely story .. I really like her ..

hope Tai Chi Class was good

off to see Carers Lady

[Mazarita]

Something to look forward to can be great. I was due for a trip south to see family and old friends about now but it was cancelled due to complicating factors, things falling through outside of my control, etc. I'll try again in a few months. Over recent years I have found these trips daunting but have often come home feeling stronger. I didn't make it to tai chi this morning, not enough sleep. I will try again next week. I agree with you about trying to go gently. Hope you enjoy your day.

[Mazarita]

Hi @Appleblossom. 2am piano playing might make me a bit grumpy to be honest. I was in bed before 11pm last night, so up at 8am. Not sure if I'll last the distance on the day. Crashing into daytime naps is another part of my sleep troubles. For now I'm celebrating the early night and earlyish rise. Hope your appointment goes okay today. 🙂

[Appleblossom]

Hey .. wow ... @Mazarita thats a normal night!