Mindfulness Meditation

[theaveragejoe]

Hi Silenus,

for depression to last a year, that is a concern. I had a friend like that and thank goodness she changed.

We do tend to worry when our friends get sick, SIlenus, we can feel hopeless as if we are somehow part of the problem.

In my particular case I went to her place and, because she also was not opening or answering the door to anyone, I made sure to catch her when she was going out to check her mail.

I stopped her and I said: "I need to talk to you". At that moment I did not know what kind of rubbish I was going to tell her but I had to try. I had to make up something quick before she told me to get lost.

Electricity came to mind. Strange. and I said to this friend:

Consider the electricity, it has a positive and negative charge. Without the negative there cannot be any positive. We need both to get some current.

It is the same for us: we have depression and normality, or contentment, or happiness, or whatever you want to call it.

I find that from my depression, very ofte,n great things come out, not while I am depressed but after. And I also find that if I really struggle I can beat the depression. I mean the depression may be there but it does not stop me.

And lastly, I said to this friend: "no matter if you are depressed or not, I still need to hear from you that you are OK. I don't mind if you are all negative or talk about negative things or don't want to talk or want to keep to yourself. It does not take long for you to send me one or two lines even to just say Hello, talk to you in a few days.

Anyway, with great luck this really worked.

I feel that people want to know that we will accept them as they are, depression or not, and that depression is not all bad. When they hide that is when they need us most. There are positive sides to the depression, believe it or not.

I am not sure if she bought what I said to her, probably not. But what worked is that she knew I really cared for her to go there to see her, a fair distance from where I lived. This worked.

Maybe you should go and see her, Silenus, if you can.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Silenus

thank you for starting this thread. Every time I start reading it, I decide to do something mindful and just do it - hence it takes me a while to get through all the posts.

I have stacks of books on mindfulness, even own Eckhart Tolles book (The Power of Now) - and have not completely read any of them. I have tried many different approaches to meditation, relaxation, tried a retreat (that I left early as it triggered memories), have done a course in buddhist meditation - and all in all none of it has really deeply resonated with me. I am not ready yet. I have two people I call "teachers" who have been practicing meditation for a long time and I enjoy talking to them and sharing. They are my "soul friends" and I so much enjoy the calm influence from them, just sitting next to them or taking a walk. I see each of them about once a month and it is good for me - I would not say that I feel better when I feel really low, but I feel less alone. They know when to talk and when to be silent, there is less mindless chatter - it is okay to just be quiet together.

Last year I found Headspace from Andy Puddicombe - which finally was at my level of readiness. I think I am really not ready for the deep thinking and I struggle with the concept of soul and a higher power... Andy just brings meditation to my world. I am trying to get more mindful during the day - but it is not easy. When I am going, like when I'm "in the fow" at work - nothing stops me. Then I'm all focussed brain - did I eat, did I drink, did I notice the time, did I sit or stand... it all becomes irrelevant - I guess that is a kind of mindfulness as well? I was in the flow yesterday, and it was the first time in a long time, and I so much loved it.

Anyway, I always analyse and want to learn and read as much as I can, but at the moment I have decided to just be. I have stopped reading or listening to books explaining bipolar, mindfulness, life motivators... and just take to take it moment by moment. I am continuing my mood diary to see patterns in my highs and lows and when the low hits, I just try to survive. I am learning that my moods are really waves, not cycles, but waves, sometimes gentle and sometimes devastating.

A lot of rambling, but hopefully it gives people some insight, that it is ok to say "I am not ready for the deep concept of meditation and mindfulness". I truly enjoy my "ME" time in the morning with my short meditation - sometimes its only 10min, but its ok.

Calm waves and big hugs x

[BlueBay]

Mindfulness in the pool - relaxing and just floating. Wish I could just float away.

[Appleblossom]

I began meditation 20 min twice per day when I was in my early 20s.  It was great and really useful for a few years. 

It wasnt always appropriate to my needs, so I am concerned when it is pushed as a sole all.  it does not. For about 20 years my meditation was like @MoonGal's cartoon, so I dropped it.  Thanks Bella really appreciated that.

I am very aware of the reasons why it was useful and why it stopped being useful.  In the last few years I have resumed some meditative and prayerlike practices ... they are my own personal practices after decades at looking at various traditions.

Sorry but I cant stand The Power of Now ... too much money made out of not very many ideas, frequently repeated.

I have probably been mindful enough .. it wasnt my problem .. we have to be careful to prescribe one size fits all solutions.

Average joe ... I liked your analogy. Just trying with goodwill should be enough.  Fear often does stop people from reaching out. Not preaching is important ... whether it is get on your knees and say the rosary or be groovy, eastern and light a few candles.  People need to find what works for them.  For a long time I needed movement or my head really would have blown apart ... Tai Chi yoga dance and gardening. I wish you had been around my place 30 and 20 years ago ... but still nice to meet you now ...

[theaveragejoe]

Dear @Appleblossom,

The Power of Now is just one of the ideas of Eckhart Tolle. His ideas are many and because language is limited, his ideas are much misinterpreted and misunderstood by many people. It takes a while to really understand what it is that he is trying to say and in this sense his ideas need the right interpretation. He is just a man with a good philosophy.

If he has made money out of his idea that should not interfere with the content and value of what he is trying to say. For example:

"...Pay more attention to the silence than to the sounds. Paying attention to outer silence crestes inner silence: the mind becomes still."

How beautiful this passage and how true.

The Power of Now is just one of the many ideas that should not prevent us from exploring is other ideas.

If you try to interpret what he says, rather than look at it as a commrecial way to make money, then you could actually find the true meaning of what he is trying to say and use it for yourself as I have done.

Believe, many people misunderstand him completely. Because they don't try hard enough to practice what he preaches.

[Appleblossom]

Yes it is lovely .. I am a long time music teacher who gently encourages my students to attend to the sounds they make and the rests in between. Silence is one of the most difficult things to master at the piano.

Its just I got sick of celebrity hype. He also didnt invent the ideas they have been around for a long time .. he rephrased them ... I dont mind his message but I wouldnt buy his books.

[theaveragejoe]

yes @Appleblossom

I think that many would agree that Tolle is very rich and charges exhuberant prices when he gives talkes. He is very rich and I for one would ask if his wealth, and the fact that he is apparently greedy, is compatible with his spiritual teaching. I think that it is not. But unfortunately, we would all be the same if we were in his shoes.

The fact remains that he has some good ideas to share regartheless of the hypocricy and greed. His ideas are still valuable and he does have a gift in this sense. But he also has a problem :Greed.

[Silenus]

Well said @Appleblossom - Tolle was only the start for me. It introduced me to Mindfulness... finding my own individual way to it has been the labour of my life the past 5 to 35 years... hahaha...

@Former-Member - you deciding to live each moment as it comes is perfect. Here you are reaching for Mindfulness and thinking you aren't ready for it, and you have been living it right now... (pun intended)...

It's almost a wizard of Oz moment... hahaha...

We each find our ways to approach things, to conceptualise them, label them, process them, challenge them, finding what ways work and what ways don't...

We are all different. In that we are the same...

Look at the placebo effect. We take a sugar pill, thinking it is "real" medication, believing it will fix us. We imagine ourselves well, and it actually happens. We believe ourselves well..

Science recognises the placebo effect. In religion, it goes by another name - faith. All of it, proving that we each have the power to at least slightly influence our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health...

Enough rambling for now... huggles... 🙂

[theaveragejoe]

Yes @Silenus, the placebo effect has real effects on our health. I thinhk that the mind also has the power to hlp itself but we have lost the ability to do this at will; instead, we need to trick our mind (as with placeabo) to get it to help itself. The mind is powerful, it is capable of increadible things like the ability to realease powerful and natural pain killers, and so on.

Just watching TV yesterday, I heard that they finally admit that anti depressants are not much better than placebo for people with milder depression (whatever thatt means) I mean, if it does not work in mild cases, whatever mild may mean, how can it work for more severe cases? That is the question.

I knew this a few years back and when I used to say this, people used to get very upset, even mad, with me. But it is the truth, it is not as we once thought, anti depressants have a very limited effect on people, not much better than placebo.

[theaveragejoe]

I am also a pianist @Appleblossom, a jazz and classical pianist. I too like the silence in composition.