Life after hospital

[Former-Member]

@BlueBay

Sorry I only just read your latest reply. I so much feel for you, that is a devastating situation.

First of all, please keep your appointment, unless you have another option? I had to learn to tell my feelings to the relevant person - I usually do that in writing and hand it over when I see them. You can write there how you feel about the last session and how you felt hurt and let down, basically tell it as you did here. You can also tell him how important that relationship is for you and although he cannot help you anymore, he could still be your fall back support? What do you want? How do you want to continue this relationship? Would you like him to see you for a while just so you can tell him how your getting on with the new one? That's what I do with my GP, he can't help me, but he is there for a chat and he gives me he support and security I needed especially before I found a good care team. In my case he is also there when I need someone to get me back...

As for the new one you can give permission to your new and old psych to talk to each other, that is another thing you can start sorting out at your next appointment, as they will both need your written permission.

Tell him what you need from him - I was told before that I am the consumer and should voice what I need from the service I pay for. Still sounds weird to me, but it is true.

@BlueBay I give you a big virtual hug x

[BlueBay]

Hey @Shaz51

No i probably can't wait until November without a therapist.  That is too long.  If i do see him in a fortnight i will spread out my sessions until November.  And maybe in the time i see him we can discuss abandoonment, rejection and how i felt.

i think i will write down some points or even a letter to him with all my feelings and how the last 5 yrs have been.

[BlueBay]

Hi @pip

I already have an appt to see a new psychologist but not until November.  It is hard to discuss childhood abuse because it triggers so much for me.  Even talking about how my mum reacted and treated me is a trigger.

I will ask my therapist if he will either phone or write something for me so the new psychologist has an idea of what she needs to do to help me and what we have done together in therapy.

No, i was referred to this therapist by my first psychologist that i saw.

I guess anything new, seeing someone new for the first time is always daunting, scary but I am hoping she will be able to help me.  And this time I will ask her at the first session how much experinece she has with BPD because if she doesn't have a lot I will ask for a referral.  I am not going to wait another 5 yrs before having to move on again.

[BlueBay]

@utopia

You're right.  I have to face this rationally and like an adult.  Not a child that wants to get back at him for abandoning me.

I will see him in a fortnight and talk to him openly and honestly about how I feel.

[BlueBay]

OK @Former-Member

I am going.  I have finally decided and not changing my decision now.  I thought that if i didn't go I probably wouldn't go again for another few months and that would make me feel angry.

I am going, and i will tell him to be gentle with me because i haven't been to a gym for a few years.  I will let you know how I go.

I am glad I have motivated you.  I hope you can get the confidence and make that step to go back to your personal trainer.  I am sure he/she will be only too happy to help you 🙂

[Shaz51]

Hello @BlueBay, that is good my friend ,

I am proud of you xx

[pip]

Hi @BlueBay. Making sure whoever is treating you, knows all there is to know about BPD, is a good place to start. If the treating therapist has no knowledge of this condition, they often tend to 'brush' over it, or make the patient feel that the condition exists in their head. BPD like any other MI needs to be understood and the patient has to be treated accordingly. You're on the right track to discuss your condition right from the start. Because you have the condition, you will know from the way the therapist speaks how knowledgeable she/he is about the condition. My knowledge of BPD is quite basic. I understand the patient experiences 'highs' and 'lows' but that's about the extent of my knowledge. If you're taking the right medication, that would help, but I know some sufferers have to be monitored. I'm assuming (rightly or wrongly) your mum rejected you because of her lack of understanding about your condition. If I'm wrong on that score, my sincerest apologies.

[utopia]

@BlueBay. I think that it's good for you to see him til November. Don't forget what @Former-Member said re: giving him and your new psychologistppermission to speak together re: your care. I think it's a brilliant suggestion and may be helpful to the new psychologist to see what works best for you and speed up your healing

[Decadian]

Hi @BlueBay

I have read everything on this page - and everyone gets a "like" - but the suggestions tend to be on both sides of the argument - so I have thought about something else

You have to do what feels right for you  - either see both of these people - or either one - or neither - whatever you feel is right for you

Personally - I put up with a psychiatrist for a long time and "put up with him" - I am not sure if he was that helpful - after all this time - but I organised another psychiatrist before I sacked the first one - ah - he was a pain in the tail at times - I saw the second guy for a while - and then I never needed to see another one -

But I have had a variety of consellors since - psychologists, social workers - other people who have been helpful in my life - and I know I have been lucky with my helpful people -

Someone wrote to you that it doesn't matter what your psychiatrist thinks of you - it's whether he can help you - I forget who that was and exactly what they said - but that's true -

It seems this guy couldn't help you - atm I am without any support for my PTSD - and I intend to sit on it for a while - maybe until next year - but right now I feel I won't need anymore - let's see

For you - time out could help - but not if this is too hard - so get a letter of referral at least - email your psychiatrist and ask him if he wants to see you again - or not - and ask for your records to be referred to your next professional person

It doesn't matter at all what anyone esle thinks - whatever you do has to be what's right for you

Thinking of you

Decadian

[BlueBay]

Hi @Decadian@utopia@pip@Shaz51@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@CherryBomb@NikNik

This morning I woke up and my back was starting to spasm.  But I didn't cancel my gym session, I went and told my personal trainer.

I thought it would be too easier to call in and say sorry can't make it.

He was so happy and surprised to see me after 3 yrs.  It is a small gym in a big clinical building.  They have everything from counsellors to physio to masaage therapists and a gym.

So for me it is good because it is not your typical gym.

We went through a few things of what i would like and we did a very small and easy/gentle session. Just to ease me into it again.  He took my blood pressure before, during and after my session. By the end it was high but he said it was okay.

He wrote down the things we did and i will do them during the week as i will be seeing him fortnightly.  i told him i can't afford weekly but fortnightly will be okay.

So i have booked in again and now i am a bit sore, my back is still sore.

went to bunnings and bought some vegie plants and herbs.  just planted them and watered them in.

i think i need a rest now.

tomorrow i am seeing my gp to get a mental health plan for my new psychologist and i have an appt with my psychiatrist.  Thought i would catch up after last week's terrible session and also let him know about my new meds.

marinaded chicken wings with paprika and chilli for tonight, going to put them in the oven. Yum and i am making a coleslaw with the purple cabbage.

@pip you're right my mum can't handle me with depression and anxiety and the fact that i was abused as a child.  She doesn't know about one of the guys that abused me, i can't tell them and she doesn't know about BPD.  that would be too difficult to explain.