Life after hospital

[Former-Member]

Hi @BlueBay

I am so glad to read hope and normality in your posts. I find it awesome that you have a great personal trainer who knows which buttons to press to keep you motivated. I tried the gym and stopped again, I tried all sort of stuff. I did have a good personal trainer, actually 2, but I am too ashamed to contact either of them - I doubt they would recognise me 😞

It's great you met your uncle and auntie and you will be spending more time with them in summer!

Take care x

[Kurra]

Hi @Former-Member
What really matters is what people can do for you (trainer) not what they think about you!
Even more important though is what you can do for yourself by contacting the trainer. Look after youself first please.
🎶💕💜💕🎶

[BlueBay]

Hi @Former-Member

I am at the moment trying to decide now whether i should go to the personal trainer tomorrow morning or not?  I am so undecided.  that's the problem with me with BPD i am always undecesive with things. It drives me crazy because i just can't make up my mind and stick with it.

My personal trainer (who i haven't seen for about 2 yrs) is a great guy, fun, jokes all the time but yet puts me through the toughest fitness regime in 30 minutes. 

I don't know whether to go or not.

I am glad to see you more on here at the moment, are you feeling like you are achieving things since coming home from hospital?

Yes it was nice to see my uncle and aunty yesterday.

Hope to chat again, take care xxxooo

[BlueBay]

Hi @Kurra@Former-Member@Decadian@Faith-and-Hope@utopia@NikNik@CherryBomb and mods

I need some advice pls:

As most of you know I was told last thursday by my therapist of 5 yrs that he can no longer help me as it is 'out of his depth'.  to me this came as a shock to say the least.  I was so damn angry (still am), very upset and sobbing, couldn't control my anger towards myself.  I felt abandoned, kicked in the guts and rejected (just like my parents did to me).

Before I left he made another appt for a fortnight.

This is the bit i need advice - do i go or not?  Part of me thinks i should go because he was my therapist for 5 out of 6 yrs and we had built a great relationship between therapist and client(or so i thought) and the other part of me says 'f... him i am not going back he hurt me once last week saying what he did, i left a complete mess and had to sit in my car for 15 minutes sobbing and then calming myself down to drive home); i don't want to have to go through that again.  i hate saying goodbyes to anyone but this would be even more harder because i looked up to him as a 'father figure' who was there for me and we could talk about anything.  i just don't think i can go through that again in a session.

I am not seeing a new psychologist until November as she is heavily booked and i thought i could just continue seeing my psychiatrist in the meantime.

Any advice pls - i know my BPD is playing a lot in this but i still feel so hurt by what he did and said.  i know he can't help me anymore, the area of BPD is not his expertise, and the new one is; so i know i will be better off in the long run. But then i have to start from scratch again and re-live my whole abuse 3 times again and again and then my mum issue and the loss of not seeing my dad.  There is so much, i don't know what to do.

[Shaz51]

Hello @BlueBay,

I am feeling for you , sending you hugs

My husband has been too so many psychologists who has passed him on to other psychologists, saying I don`t know how to help you anymore  and one psychologist even said It was my fault that my hubby wasn`t going forward .

so he left feeling all the things you said, and decided what`s the use of going back , then later we had a phone call to say we had an appt , we did go , but my hubby didn`t feel good anymore with the psychologist who said all those things to him

Do you think you can wait until the new psychologist in  November ??

[pip]

Hi @BlueBay. The feeling of rejection, betrayal, abandonment would be extremely strong right now, making decision making difficult. I'm sorry this has happened, but I think, under the circumstances, I would be inclined to see him and ask for a referral to another therapist who specializes in BPD. I would tell him how hurt, rejected and betrayed you feel about him pulling the pin. Being honest during therapy or any counselling is imperative for our improvement. Perhaps give him a letter rather than tell him. Tell him how you felt personally, (this is personal, for you). If he can refer you and he makes a note of your reaction to this news, this can be forwarded to the next therapist, who will be able to help you with your feeling of rejection. It's possible you may not have to relive your bad experiences with a new therapist, if this one can forward any and all documents relating to your problems. Talking repeatedly about previous abuse is difficult, often once we've 'talked ourselves out' about the abuse, the thought of having to relive it is quite sickening. Were you referred to this therapist through your Dr or did you find him yourself? I would be inclined to ask your therapist if he would forward your case-notes on to your new therapist. Take care of yourself and remember, we're here when it seems too much. .

[utopia]

@BlueBay. I would still see your therapist until your November appointment comes around. It's too long for you to go without assistance.
Try not to think of this as being your fault or about you. He simply can't / doesn't have the skills you require. He mifht have thought he did initially, but he now realises he doesn't.
You need to shut down or ignore the voice that wants to punish him. Because it only hurts you in the end.

[Shaz51]

That is very true @utopia xx

You need to shut down or ignore the voice that wants to punish him.

Because it only hurts you in the end. my friend @BlueBay

myself as a wife and a carer, I would of  liked my Husband to keep going

[Appleblossom]

Hi @BlueBay

It is good that you had what you had with your old therapist. He did not say things "to hurt you" but because they needed to be said.

 It could be good to go and be an opportunity to learn to say good bye ... finish off things ... thank him for what he did give ... admit the pain and hurt maybe .. but also with adult goodwill .. cos your a mum of grown boys ... at least he is honest not to want to treat you for things he feels he does not have the expertise in ... dependancy is not helpful in the long run ... even if it feels comforting. I think it is important to know one's limits and I respect his decision.

[Former-Member]

@BlueBay

GO GO GO to your personal trainer!!!

You've motivated me to start thinking to get back in touch with mine, so go ahead now with yours and be my leading example 🙂🤗