Lived Experience Forum

[GCP]

Hi I just found this forum and thought I'd put up a little about my story so far. When I was in Year 9 I first showed symptoms of what was then thought bipolar disorder. I had 30+ days off school but managed to avoid hospital. Everything went well for year 10 and 11 but then after a neighbour suicided and some bullying incidents at school, I landed in hospital for most of year 12.

The hospital that i spent several months in didn't have an adolescent ward, so I was seventeen in an adult unit. Later in the year I was tranferred to a children's mental health ward and discovered that I preferred being with the adults as the kids all seemed pretty immature.

When i got back to school, all my peers were studying for the HSC and i had to go back to year 11 - in the end I took two years to complete my HSC (three if you include the year I was hospitalised) as I really wanted to study ancient history and legal studies and they were offered at the same time in the timetable when i went back to school.

Fast forward - I got into uni, moved out of home, completed my degree and met a really nice guy. He has an acquired brain injury from a car accident - coincidentally the same year that I was in hospital. We both had major trauma (car accident and mental illness) in our year of year 12, something that brought us together in a way.

From 2001 to 2010 I had no hospital admissions - the arrival of my twins was going to change that. In 2010 I gave birth to boy/girl twins, without a csection and nearly full term. When they were five weeks old I relapsed and was in hospital again for about ten weeks. I then stayed out of hospital until this year when I tried to get off my main medication and try a different one that didn't have so many side effects. It didn't work and i was in hospital for a couple of months as I became unwell again.

Does anyone else have schizo-affective disorder on here? How do you cope with feeling exhausted throughout the day when you are a parent? I look forward to reading your responses - sorry if i waffled too much I tend to write a lot

[Former-Member]

Hi @GCP
Welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing your story. Wow twins would be a lot of fun but hard work at times I would imagine! I gave a 4 and 7 yr old, and have c PTSD and depression/anxiety and currently really struggling. It's so hard when I'm exhausted but I've been giving all the effort I can to doing the normal routine and being as prepared as I'm able to (housework hasn't been making it onto the routine list much lately though sigh) but I'm focussing on getting to swimming lessons and library on the weekend etc. people keep telling me to take rests but it's virtually impossible with my 4 yr old because he's a busy lil energiser bunny who loves to experiment and try out interesting ideas.... Usually ones that are dangerous or extremely messy ir both! If left alone for more than a minute!
Not sure this is helpful... But I'm hearing you
Lj

[Appleblossom]

Dear @GCP it seemed a concise clear post to me.

Wow twins ... how old are they?

... no waffles ... but maybe one day you will be relaxed enough to enjoy them .. with lashings of maple syrup.

My brother married a lady with a brain injury ... it is amazing how compassionate are many people with MI.

You must have your hands full.

I have felt like you describe when my 2 girls were young ...and they were 16 months apart.

I liked @Former-Member's post.

I think that reality is usually helpful somehow, especially if it is not like a Hollywood movie.

welcome to the forums ... keep posting and waffles are fine ...

[CherryBomb]

Hi @GCP,

It's great to 'meet' you. 

Caring for kids is hard work, which can make it tough caring for you too. Too often we can invest so much energy caring for others, that there is little energy for us. I'm not saying that you should care for your kids - I'm more acknowledging how challenging it can be finding a balance. 

Do you have support with parenting? Does hubby chip in, or do you have friends or family that can help out?

I also thought I'd point out some other members on here who also have shizoaffective disorder. @hazelhawk similar to yourself had bouts of illness during adolesence, and has periods of wellness and illness in her adulthood, she writes about it here.

Also @BarbaraH, @33cRioli and @kenny66 talk about their experiences of having shchizo affective disorder here. Perhaps they can offer some insights into how they manage?

CherryBomb

[GCP]

Lisajane - Yes I can't rest either, I have two little energiser bunnies like your four year old. My son is definitely  more full of beans than my daughter though, she is happier to sit for longer periods colouring in and drawing etc but he always needs lots of activity. My housework definitely takes a back seat lol although once a week we make sure it's all vacuumed and tidied better than we do every day (with the help of a paid cleaner for an hour to give us a bit of extra motivation). Thanks for your reply

[GCP]

The reply above was to 'lisajane' i forgot to tag her.

Appleblossom, my twins are five years old, they will go to Kindegarten next year. I certainly do have my hands full but life is mostly fun. Three days daycare is our respite though!

[GCP]

Cherrybomb, nice to 'meet' you too! I have three days break a week when the kids go to prep and they will be in Kindegarten next year which should be a bit more of a break although I will of course be working more. Hubby is great help with the housework and parenting, however he can get a bit stressed out sometimes and I do often have to give him ideas of what to do as with the brain injury he doesn't always think of everything. Give him a list and off he'll go though, and I have no problems providing a list! Closest family are two hours away and a lot of our friends also have young kids they're running after, but we manage okay.

[CherryBomb]

Wow 5-year old twins - does sound like a handful, but a fun a loveable handful at that.

3 days at Kinder sounds like a great opportunity to get some rest. Though I know you mentioned you're intending to work more, will you be able to make some time to relax? 

I just started a pottery class on Saturday mornings. I often don't get much time to myself either, but just doing something that take my mind off things, even for a couple of hours is so rejuvinating. We have a few garderners on here who swear by it.

[Appleblossom]

Its great to have a bit of wholesome fun in life and I guess 5 yo kids can help with that ... it is amazing what you can do when put to the test.

cheers

[PANDA]

Hi @GCP,

Sounds like you have learned so much about yourself, your diagnosis and strategies to address the many challenges you have faced over the years. What an asset to the forums! No doubt you will bring comfort and have lots to share with others facing similar challenges.

Managing and enjoying twins AND prioritising your own mental and physical wellbeing is a big deal. It is hard. I imagine there is always an immediate need, right under your nose, and it is so easy to respond to these needs and not tune into what your own needs might be.

I wonder if some of the exhaustion is related to medication? If it is, you might want to discuss options with your doctor. If it is physical exhaustion from keeping up with two gorgeous little people that is a harder one to address 🙂 It is amazing how much energy little people have and it sounds like you have already mastered 'down time' with colouring in and reading stories.

Worry and stress can also leave us tired... I wonder what sorts of things you find enjoyable that provide you with space to 'just be'? To breathe the air, notice your surroundings and be at peace... if only for a moment. Nourishing yourself is really important if you are to continue to give to others in the way you do as a mother. What sorts of things nourish you?

Look forward to talking more...