Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

@Corny I had hope years ago that the White Ribbon initiative would lead to widespread change in our society but as with all such initiatives the government supported it for a short time and then it got lost amongst all other 'causes'. The same can be said about the heartbreaking story of Rosie Batty and her son Luke. The spotlight was on her for her unwavering campaigning for a stop to DV but with all things of this nature once she withdrew from actively campaigning the issues died down with her. Not enough government funding and awareness is put into such issues - it is often put in the 'too hard' basket as are other social issues ...and it is a social issue. The statistics shown the very real and common freuency that DV occurs in our society yet funding does not reflect the need for adequate services to both help and prevent it occurring. A larhe part of that is the lenient or non-existent punishment in our judicial system for the perpetrstors - many of whom go on to inflict further harm afterwards. We know that a conviction/sentence is often no deterrent or 'fix' for many perpetrators and that they need a lot of re-learning, counselling and ongoing rehabilitation if there is a chance for them to change their own behaviour. This is of course not the case with those that do not think they have done anything wrong and refuse to accept their role in abuse. How then do we resch those people - that is the big ongoing question that no-one seems to have an answer for at present.

I believe that anyone that has an AVO out against them or have perpetrated these crimes do not have the same right to privacy or right to voice their own side without careful monitoring. That could mean that these people should be monitored so the police are aware of them even getting close to those the AVO is from or those that they have perpetrated a crime against in the past. The safety of the victim seems to be secondary in our society to the rights of the perpetrator and untiul that is reversed sadly these crimes will continue.

I also agree that social media allows for one 'face' of a person to be presented and the reality of the situation is often hidden well behind closed doors. People only show what they want others to see and that can be manipulating - and in some cases allow the sympathy of others to be place with the perpetrator rather than the victim. This is definitely one area that is more than difficult to 'police' and I certainly do not have any answers on how we could tackle that.

The powers of the police in all this is also restricted. Unless there is a visible crime being committed their hands are also tied. This is where we need increasing interjection however - I feel strongly that women (and men) should be believed as the first course of action and intervention attended to immediately then the 'bones' of the complaint or issue worked out. 

Having worked in DV and experienced it first hand previously I am very aware of how difficult it is to leave such a relationships and also the complexity of talking about it, reporting it and the 'hoops' that need to be jumped through to get any ongoing support. DV services themselves are stretched to the limit yet the government profess to be concerned but only provide minimal funding to increase that support. Often there is a limited time (and funding) that women can receive that support. That does not in any way reflect the gravity of the situation or the ongoing fear even once a perpetrator has been convicted (if in fact it gets that far). 

The reality is that if someone wants to harm another then they will do it without measures to keep them away ...ankle monitoring, locking up those that breach an AVO (and not just overnight but for a defined length of time), curfews, constant police/welfare checkins ...to name a few - should be mandatory in such cases. Unfortunately that all will not stop every crime but it could reduce the frequency and pervasiveness of it in our society. Guilty until proved innocent in these cases should be the norm rather than the other way around - but that will also need a change of attitude from the wider society, an ongoing campaign to keep DV in the spotlight and adequate funding to support those in DV situations to leave and be kept safe - then maybe we can see a move away from the fear and isolation for those in a DV situation and hope that they will be kept safe and supported.

[Corny]

There's a lot of really complex issues @Zoe7 , and I don't think many people know how to deal with the 'too hard' basket, but there are people in the front lines, that have to deal with it day in day out as part of their jobs in the criminal justice system.

A lot of it is utterly perplexing, and I don't understand what is the point of being sentenced if you can appeal it anyways, like with the life sentence that was handed down last week for the sexual violence against a 7 year old. And then someone like the Mosman creep is allowed out on bail and to attend classes at Sydney Uni.....its just sickening and I don't believe that everyone can be rehabilitated, no way, it is not possible. The sentences are also too short and don't fit the crime. 

I think that even the tax and economic systems affect DV, such as the cost of housing. Housing in Australia is seen as a way to making money and about wealth creation, which is locking so many people out, and lots of  DV victims end up on the street because of the ripple effect of grotesque greed........there is often no where for a parent and their children to go, and unstable housing has a huge effect on mental health. 

I think that we also need programs that focus on healthy early childhood development and attachment, and early bonding. I think that lots goes very wrong in the early years of people's lives, and this has lasting effects which can be carried into their adult relationships. 

I wouldn't have a problem with losing some privacy or privileges for the greater good. A lot of people hide behind their computer screens, the mask comes down, and some patterns of behaviour could be picked up by examining their online use. Some of the work the AFP has to do online is just horrendous, but I think that security could be ramped up in this area and it is an opportunity to intercept escalating situations. I guess its hard when ScoMo keeps taking jobs out of the public service....

Hope you enjoy a gentle movie tonight or something comforting, Corny

[Zoe7]

Even in DV emergency housing there is a limited time women and children can stay @Corny and if there is not anywhere for them to go afterwards so many return to the abusive situation they left purely for a roof over their head. I very much agree that housing for DV people - as well as in society in general - is very much lacking. We have billions of dollars poured into defence, attracting foreign companies and aid worldwide but a very small percentage of that into housing and supporting those that need help in our own society. If that money was reversed and put into housing, health, education and community services then a lot of the social issues we are faced with would be extinguished. I am not saying that we should not also fund defence or aid to foreign countries but our priorities are skewed. As an example is the ability to do a degree or further study as part of defence and being paid for by the government - to me that is an inequality in the system as everyone else has to pay for their own degree or study. That money alone could support community services to reach the areas most needed. I can alresdy hear the argument here that those in defence are serving their country - but aren't all the nurses, teachers, welfare workers, cleaners, garbage collectors etc. doing the same. We place certain people on pedestals without recognising that it takes everyone in our society in whatever role they are in to make it work. Inequality is still a massive issue and unfortunately that also feeds into the services that are available. The mental health system in our country perpeptuates that - not everyone has access to the help they need because they simply cannot afford it ...and that becomes an issue for leaving a DV situation so commonly as well because not only can women often not afford to receive the help they need but as you have said they do not have the economic means to leave. We have a broken system in this country and unfortunately if it does not bring money to the government then money will not be spent on it