Lived Experience Forum

[greenpea]

@Appleblossom  Sorry that has gone straight over the pea's head 

[Appleblossom]

The P of Penzance plot is about pirates being friendly if the people they catch are orphans ... cos they can relate ....so they wont steal from their own kind ... and sometimes rich boys pretend to be orphans ... like the major general ... so they arent robbed ...

there is also a joke about the snobby way English pronounciation of the the word ... often ... as orphan ... 

I did not know that growing up and influenced by reading, and always said the "t" in often ...

Never mind. Saw show yesterday as son was in it.

Recently in a choir ... a lady who was a CEO was inquisitorial to me when I mentioned being in an orphanage and making observation about choirs being similar in sticking together and looking out for group ...  she demanded to know if I had been a ward of the state ...

seeing how my sense of family and belonging is different to others ... BIG SIGH ... trying to be light hearted about it ... the words in the G&S show are very funny and take the micky out of authority.

Ed: Sorry @greenpea forgot to tag

[MoonGal]

@Appleblossom

"I am going with being a product but not a prisoner of my past.  How to own it without it ruling me ..."

Oh that is so good, I feel like in openeing up and trying to clear my past last year, I have just left myself churning in the spinner. I THOUGHT I had done the work, but it feels like the work has done me. I like what you said, "a product of, but not a prisoner of my past....". I will let that soak in a bit and maybe discuss with my psychologist in November when I see her.

[Appleblossom]

@MoonGal 

If we sweep it under the carpet and dont give it its due ... somehow ... its the past that bites us on the bum ... when we least expect it ... 

as always ... work in progress ... I hear car doors ... got kids ...

Its lovely when you post.

[MoonGal]

Hi @Appleblossom, @greenpea, @Shaz51

Just tailing off of a hypo, got so excited I was writing again and feeling the groove, my wife said "It all sounds a bit hypo" when I was describing the story to her. 😞 I took a hurt from that but spoke up and said "You know when you said that it hurt, I was describing a story and enjoying writing and you took it down". She apologised immediately.
But, you know what? I am flat today, teary in myself - this story, I reread it, its got good bones but it is all a bit squirrelly-nuts after all. LOL. There is fantasy genre and then ther is fantasising haha. I think it falls into the latter.

I know this forum is not a place to discuss medication that it is verboten for various reasons. I desperately want to come off the antipsychotic and am seeking help and advice about that elsewhere, trying to educate my pdoc. That is a huge undertaking and one I do not enter lightly, makes me cry, I feel so trapped in myself - my mental illnesses (or maybe rather the diagnoses) and the chemical incarceration I experience on the multiple medications. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

[Appleblossom]

Hey Good to see you @MoonGal

Re 1) writing ... go with the good feelings and flesh the bones ... another time ...if needed ... I have found I need a lot of distance to have any sense of perpsective on my writing ... but also quality of responses can vary ... due to others issues ... a lady recently made a point of finding a book with some of my poems in it, and quietly let me know she impressed.  She cares about writing but is not a rival.  Thank god for a bit of maturity at last.

2) meds ... fingers crossed you get good support ... 

[greenpea]

@MoonGal Hi MoonGal I know exactly what you mean. I am one step away from giving up my meds ... each time I time I take them I think "Okay I took them this time I may or may not take them next time it is my choice". It gives me a sense of control instead of the medication controlling me I suppose.

[Shaz51]

Hello @MoonGal  my husband is one step away from giving up his meds .too @greenpea 

sending you hugs @MoonGal and it is lovely hearing from you xxxx. 

[greenpea]

@Shaz51@MoonGal yes sorry for you and Mr Shaz it is not a good place for anyone ... feeling very unstable and pissed off with  everything. Seeing psych will talk with her about it all.

[MoonGal]

Sorry you are feeling so angry and pissed off @greenpea -hope you feel better soon.