Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

I already posted my story, that was my story, bitter and angry and hopeless. I struggle to have faith in all this, but I've seen so much strength in so many people having such a tough time here, I'm going to try again. So I'm booked in today, gonna try and find a new GP and start from scratch.

Also wanted somewhere to post my art that didn't begin with a novel worth of trauma.

Thanks everyone.

[Former-Member]

Went the GP, new doc is everything I wanted, she's compassionate and kind and everything else. And I just feel totally underwhelmed. She couldn't give me anything meaningful and I'm out of pocket $90 for the pleasure. I booked in again for 2 weeks from now but I don't know if I'll make it.

[hanami]

Hi @Former-Member 

Sorry to hear you're overwhelmed and out of pocket. Seeing a GP is not cheap for most of us these days!

What exactly did she offer you for your mental health issues? Did she offer referrals to psychologists or other therapists?

When you say you're not sure if you'll make it, can I ask what you mean by that?

Thinking of you

Hanami

[Snowie]

Hi @Former-Member I don't think we have met before so nice to meet you.

Finding a good gp who understands mental health is super hard. I have been through a few and still searching for that certain one. 

It sounds like the gp is nice but you are still questioning whether they are right for you.

What do you mean by not knowing if you will make it? (Sorry, only answer this question if you feel comfortable enough)

Also, if you would like to tag any members then just put a @ before their name.

[Former-Member]

Hey @hanami, thanks for checking in

Yeah she did offer referals, but she was hesitant to do that because of my previous medical stuff/trauma. She asked me what I wanted and I didn't even know what to say, she thinks I should see her a few times first to help re-engage with health care in general. I think she's probably right that that needs to happen before I can get any meaningful change.

re not going to make it, not threat of suicide to be clear, It's just I'm so far down the rabbit hole, I can get too overwhelmed to brush my teeth in the morning sometimes. It takes so much concentrated energy to do any part of this and I just don't think I have that energy.

[Former-Member]

G'day @Snowie, yeah I pretty much just jumped in with a big old trauma post. I havn't yet made it through the welcome area or anything.

As far as finding a good GP, you're definitely right but I struggle to know if there is one that can handle my relatively complex mental health issues. It feels like the system they work under was built to exclude people who struggle in the way I do, in retrospect I kind of doubt there was anything she could've done in that time frame that would've made me feel better.

Re-not knowing if I'll make it, see post above.

Cheers

[hanami]

Hey @Former-Member 

Thanks for explaining a bit further. It gives me a better understanding and I can see where you are coming from re past trauma. And yep she is probably right about reconnecting through seeing her a few more times.

It really sounds like you are so fatigued from all of this and just can't find any joy in life and can't see yourself getting better? Does that sound right? I always have hope for people but I get it, it's hard when you're down that rabbit hole. 

One of the things that helped me when I was super down was to try to just find a few little things each day that I could gain pleasure from. I would walk at the beach and enjoy the waves, I would eat a nice piece of chocolate, I would give one of my kids a big hug. I know you've probably tried this sort of thing but is there anything else that kept you in a better place in the past?

Hanami

[Snowie]

I rarely talk to my gp about my mental health too. The appointments are too short and she just doesn't "get it". Living rural doesn't help as there is not many gp's around.

Even with a past you still deserve help. Perhaps seeing a psych might help. I understand the having to start all over again, but it might just benefit you...

I'm sorry to hear that things feel bad for you. I can understand having no energy to do anything. Sometimes just the simplest of tasks can feel overwhelming.

Is there anything that you enjoy doing for yourself?

[Former-Member]

Hey@hanami 

No worries re explaining, people are complex and I appreciate being able to talk about it anyway.

You've nailed the fatigue but I wouldn't agree re joy. I can and do find joy, infact I spend pretty much all my available time pleasure seeking, probably more for worse than for good. Either way none of it is enough to counteract my overwhelmingly loud inner monologue and general discontent with the state of my life.

Cheers

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Snowie

Couldn't agree more re GPs, although I do actually live in a mid-sized town so access isn't so much of an issue for me. Sorry to hear it is for you.

Thank you, I don't doubt you're correct in regards to seeing a psych, in saying that every option I choose to pursue is more energy and time taken directly away from the things that give me what pleasure I have access too or money.

I'm sorry you know the feeling of that fatigue, it is bizarre to live in such a way I can't summon to do many of the things others do without even thinking.

Things I enjoy doing for me? Well if we're only talking constructive things then pretty much programming and digital art.