Lived Experience Forum

[Grey]

It's now been eight months, since a seperation that I did not want. Nearly 10 years of marriage. I try and function but its not working I am on anti depresantants and most of the time I manage just to get through the week. I have shared care with my daughter I hate it when she is not here as often I so into her room to check that she is safe before I go to bed and she is not here because she is at her Dads, this pain hurts so much. I am so sad most of the time, everyone says it will pass with time, but I just want it to pass. The last few days I have not wanted to be here at all, it is me that I want to pass, I don't feel needed and doubt anyone would notice if I just was not here anymore.

[Eucalypt]

Hi there @Grey,
Firstly, welcome to the SANE forums. It sounds as though you have been through so much in the last few months and you are in a place of suffering at the moment. I am glad that you have reached out and joined the forum and hope that you will enjoy being a part of this supportive community. I am concerned that you speak of not feeling needed and express doubt that anyone would notice if you were not around, so I am going to send you a quick email to check in with you. Take care @Grey and again, welcome.

[Grey]

Its a horrid feeling that has come before, and each time it comes it comes stronger.

Most things in life I can talk to the person involved or be able to speak to my ex and things would be better. Whilst he is still around due to daughter and does try and support, he will not accept that something is actually wrong with me that explains a lot of my behaviours and part the causes of the end of our marriage. Nothing I say or do has any effect on things resolving so most of the time I feel like the most important thing of my existance my family I have lost. It causes me so much pain I want it to end. I have not self harmed but completely understand why people do it

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Grey

Separation is so difficult. 

Sometimes being busy in the week she is with her father can help distract and start building new life for yourself. 

Have you any doctor or psych to help?

[Grey]

did try counselling for a while kept telling me that it was early days, which gave me hope and distroyed me further

think I am waiting for divorce time to occur so that I will get it that he actually means it