In such a crazy fast moving society. It helps to slow things down enough to get to know people.
Words are only one way to connect.
Dont let feelings get you down. They are very sneaky and can jump all over the place before you even know why.
Do you ever feel like you just doing rewind? Going through the motions? Day in day out?
Today was different. Woke with energy (wow, must have slept better), was thw best feeling ever, and my shoulder didn't grab in pain when i stretched. The dog didn't pee on the floor and ot wasnt so cold. The neighbour talked with us while hosing the garden. Dad was watching on the veranda. Its like a village atmosphere in our street on bin night. Everyone comes out of their boxes briefly. I like that.
So WinterBlues held off today, though hope i'm not swinging - don't remember writing the above poem last night.
Visited bro4 briefly today, he liked that i think.
Its probably not fair i've come & expected all of them to have time for me after living away for
2+ decades. They all have their comfortable lives without making room for me. I thought maybe less distance would help - but apparently not. And my pushing to be with them more - maybe that's cruel since i probably will leave again. I just thought its a good opportunity to reconnect. But maybe not. Bro4 is cross i wont lend him money every fortnight & interprets that as not caring, but i do and i'm here. But out of all of yhem Bro4 has been far mor visible to dad & I. He's clumsy in his efforts & shocking to his own kids, but he tries. He's depressed too. All of us are on different levels. He wont help in the garden here or any of that but he visits.
Bro2 isnt talking to me again, apparently can't wait 'till i "pss off back to qld" Hmm, wonder what i'm actually doing that he wants me out of the way.
My qld friend has pulled the pin on watering my plants. And i havent heard ftom her for two weeks. Feel i need to give her space but hey - am i really that bad.
My cuz is cross with me for cancelling a couple of times. She doesn't seem interested in trying anymore. I had good reason and have much to juggle so honestly hope ppl would be more understanding. Hurts though, like rejection. Occurred to me she sides with my sister, who has money but also - my sis was bridesmaid at her wedding. And they talk.
Relationships can be soooo complicated. I just wanna hide away. I can never compete with all the lovelies out there.
Tried to explain to someone today how my son (my life) was talking of moving to Norway or Germany and how without him i dont know where to live when my job is done here. Nobody really wants me. Its a hard place to go in my planning. Feels like 'the end' to go there. But present moment keeps me going, doing a good thing, so, best let the future take care of itself.
Haha, is anyone listening? Best nod off soon 🙂
some medications can have quite horric side effects, be careful and if it gets to bad please ring your gp and get some advice on what to do..
oh that is so hard, im sorry your not invited. my family is like that to, they invite mum, her bf and the girls but not me and if i turn up with mum i get looks like who invited you.
some people dont get it, until they have done what you do ie caring on a daily basis. one day every now and then they think gives them rights to say they are 'helping'. the nerve of some people sheesh- it does me head in (same thing happens here too)
its not wonder your feeling quite sad and low today, big hugs
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.