Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[tyme]

Have you experienced caring for children who are so anxious that they don't want to leave the house? 

This seems to be an issue many families are facing. Whether it's school refusal (school can't), not wanting to go to the shops, or for some, they don't want to leave your side, it's becoming more common than ever.

What are your experiences?

What have you tried?

I've be interested to hear from anyone out there.

[Miss-wish]

Hi @tyme, 

All my children have had anxiety issues, ranging from not letting me leave the daycare or school or doing/ saying things that that made them be sent home. I found it was the schools that didn't understand their needs or their ASD that created a lot of the problem.

I think my 24yo had the hardest time, the school would suspend her every 2 to 3 weeks for minor things that other kids did and didn't get into trouble for. She was 10 at the time and had regressed to a mental age of 5 at that stage. She was a school can't before it had a name and the schools were happy as they didn't want her there.

By 12 I knew there was something else going on, but no one would listen and to get her to important appointments for the doctor or psychologist I would have to pick her up and put her in the car ( yes I know this sounds extreme) 

By year 10 she was having extremely bad seizures, to the point that she dislocated her shoulder a few times while having them. After she left school the seizures stopped and we wonder if it was the stress and anxiety that caused them. 

Finally at 19yo she was diagnosed with not only agoraphobia ( unable to leave the house) and  pathological demand avoidance. That was when we started working with a psychologist that stopped and listened to what she had to say, that took ques from her and didn't try to force her to answer things she didn't understand about herself. 

My 12yo was a little easier, I would reassure her everyday that I would be there to pick her up, I used an app called choiceworks to help, I was always at school at least 10 minutes early as she was always worried that I would forget her. By grade 2 she was finding ways to stay home as it was too much for her. This was one but definitely not the only reason I chose to homeschool. My 12yo and 7yo now do distance ed at a Qld public online school via the internet. They have live classes with their teachers and the classes are recorded to watch later for 1. if they can't get to class or 2. need extra help and have to watch it again. The school even has online social clubs for the kids if they want to. 

We no longer have school don'ts 😊and this is what works for us. 

[Jasper_123]

Hi @tyme !

I think it's about finding ways to build a child's confidence and talking to them! My friend whose a parent has her seven year old meditating and practicing mindfulness! It's amazing!

[tyme]

I first read that her child was medicating! 

Yes! Meditating! That's so great @Jasper_123 . Kids in Kinders and schools are doing a lot more mindfulness activities now. It's really great to see.