Lived Experience Forum

[Gia45]

Hi! I'm the mum of a 9 year old girl who goes to a great school. Last week she was crying and saying she didn't want to go back to school as the kids on her table were making her feel stupid. I googled ways to deal with the situation and convinced her to go to school if i could get her moved to another table. When i got to school i saw her teacher and politely asked if she could move my daughter to another table and explained why. I was immediately met with a tirade of insults from 'your daughter is not innocent herself' to 'i see the way she looks at you and you soften and take her home' and she needs to learn to be more assertive because all the other kids in the class would tell me if they were picked on. Honestly i was shocked and felt really insulted. All i expected was some compassion not a list of insults about how i parent. The teacher moved my daughter to another table and organised for her to see the school counsellor once a week ongoing. I sent an email asking the teacher to explain my daughters rude behaviour and she wrote back saying it wasn't I a big problem and was dealth with at the time. I spoke to a few counsellors who suggested i talk to the headmaster about the schools bullying policy as i didn't feel the issue had been taken seriously. I made an appnt and then cancelled as other things came up. A week later i went to a school assembly and the same teacher made a direct line for me and told me to move seats as i was sitting in a teachers area. Despite me already asking the teacher next to me if it was ok. What I'm now concerned about is that this teacher has told me she has Coeliac disease. I've done the research and coeliac is common in paranoid schizophrenics. This link does explain her behaviour somewhat but I'm concerned she has developed a paranoid dislike for me and will target me at future school events or worse make up stories about me. I'm thinking i should talk to the headmaster but I'm not sure if he's going to support me? And i feel bad having to suggest she has a mental illness that makes her really unapproachable. I would appreciate any advice.

[Sahara]

Hi @Gia45,

Welcome to the forums. 

Well, I am absolutely no expert, but I would suggest that you go ahead and talk to the headmaster about this.

Obviously, you have some concerns.... I would too. It's very odd that the teacher told you about having Coeliac disease, as illness is such a personal thing and she is not a close friend of yours. Why disclose something like this to you? It does seem unprofessional to me.

It sounds like this teacher is very abrupt and not afraid to to have an opinion. This is okay up to a point. The thing with working in a respected profession, like teaching,  is that you should learn to choose your words carefully, so as not to upset anyone. 

She seems to have upset you and you have the right to tell her superior about it.

To be honest, I would not suggest to her boss that you think that she may be a paranoid schitzophrenic. It's a huge call to make, just going on her behavior towards you. If there have been any problems with this teacher, then her boss will be aware of them... there would have been other issues and anyway, co-worker talk and gossip- he would be aware. 

Maybe you should write down your concerns in point form before the meeting? That way you will not forget anything,

On the bright side, the teacher did organize conselling for your child and did move her to a different table. 

Good luck.

[Gia45]

Thank you so much Sahara, your words are wise and proactive. The reason i knew she was coeliac was because my daughter is also gluten free and she confided in us when we told her this. I feel i need to express my concerns to the headmaster, but i won't suggest mental illness. My daughter said her teacher was away a few weeks ago 'looking at other schools'. This came up in our conversation but she was reluctant to give details - so maybe she is moving on. She is extremely opinionated and i was always taught that as a professional its important to use communication that shows youre empathetic. Thanks so much for you're advice. Do you know where i can get advice on how to communicate with someone who has Schizophrenia or personality disorder?

[Sahara]

@Gia45,

lol, people with schizophrenia and personality disorder are human beings and you can just be yourself, try to relax and talk as you would to anyone else!

Mental illness is very common- there could be a number of teachers at the school who suffer from mental illness. You might not realise it, it's not like they would have some kind of badge that they wear, announcing it.  

I suffer from MI and you and I have had a normal correspondence, haven't we?

Just be clear and direct, polite and considerate when you speak to everyone, that way you can't go wrong. Just voice your concerns in a polite way- treat people the way you would like to be treated.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @Gia45,

Welcome to Forum Land. The situation with your daughter's teacher sounds really difficult. Like @Sahara said, I would imagine that others have probably had issues with her from what you describe. I hope you are able to get some good support from the principal.

Your question about how to communicate with someone who has schizophrenia or a personality disorder made me smile. I have a personality disorder - you can practice communicating with me if you like.

By the way, when you respond to someone here in Forum Land, make sure you "tag" them by putting the @ symbol in front of their name. That way they will receive a notification that you have responded.

I look forward to practicing communicating with you if you want to.

[Queenie]

Welcome, @Gia45. I'd just thought I'd put it out there until my reasonably recent diagnosis, paranoid schizophrenia was my diagnosis. That doesn't make me out to be some bullying monster, in fact, people with this illness are more likely to be bullied themselves and the victims of crime rather than being the perpetrators. 

Interestingly, I've never heard about the connection between coeliac disease and schizophrenia, where did you hear about this? I've never been diagnosed with coeliac disease or gluten intolerance.