Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Paris]

Sukha

its such a relief to hear that someone has asked the question that I have struggled with these past 10 years!  I too have been living in hell alone with no where to turn just trying to survive life with my functioning (in others eyes) bipolar 2 husband.  I got him to see a psychiatrist during an episode 10 years ago after the birth of our second child but the psychiatrist did not involve me in his care and won't talk to me to discuss any concerns either. My husband could be telling him any stories?  I was even so desperate to have him helped a few years ago that I sent a letter to the psychiatrist who then discussed it with my spouse which made things much worse for me with his aggressive behaviour and I 

have been too frightened to try any intervention since then.  I do get the confidentiality issue because IM actually a health professional but I'm disgusted that there isn't a more wholistic approach to mental health care when clearly family support is beneficial to recovery.   The private psychologist has failed my husband because he has managed to just give him medication without counselling or any family involvement and during that time he has become more aggressive, selfish, chaotic and hateful toward me using any opportunity to bully, put down, insult and his moods are rapidly cycling making life hell for me and the children.  I'm a full time working mum and he does FIFO which is the only reason we have survived this long.  I love the break every second week. The week he is away the house is calm and happy but as soon as he comes back, there is friction and chaos.  He will purposely leave clothes on the floor, dishes everywhere and doesnt help with an domestic duties at all. And I come home from a long day to mess and no dinner started so I cook the dinner and even clear up afterward because I don't want to live in a pig stye.  Nor does he do any business dealings, bills etc. He is only interested in his own entertainment and the children have to fend for themselves.  I'm now at the end of my patience and wanting to separate because I see no joy left in him at all   It is impossible to sustain a relationship with someone like this who wants to punish the person who has only ever tried to help even though I have been shut out emotionally and intimately because he is not capable of this  type of relationship  and I feel he is just another child in the family who is very badly behaved.  Oh yeah I forgot to mention that he also drinks quite a lot of late, it just keeps getting better doesn't it?   He is typical bipolar with his flashy cars and dress style (too young for his age)   And hangs out with young guys from his work   Listens to cool music etc etc  no time for me or the 2 beautiful children at all   

Sorry to waffle but it's been bottled up for soooo long but in summing up, there is a need for family/career support  its all about the patient but you know what?  There are many more families and careers affected than the actual person who is unwell  

I would love to have a support group  I live in the Western suburbs but don't mind travelling