Lived Experience Forum

[utopia]

Hi @Dark_Olena. Just wanted to check how you are feeling today. Did you do anything on thd weekend, maybe something just for you - that made you feel better or forget about things for a while? Can you treat yourself today to something special - a bubble bath - chocolate - a walk through the park - listening or dancing to your favorite music?

[Dark_Olena]

Hi Utopia, Thankyou for asking about my weekend. Today I visited  another sister for her birthday and that was a nice distraction and went to the ocean to take photos. The sun was out and it was glorious but apparently not for taking photos.  I am a little concerned about my weight dropping, nausea from anxiety for my other sister  who is having brain cancer surgery this Wednesday, stops me from eating properly. But I have those unhealthy thoughts of not having any control in my sisters cancer, but I can start to control my weight, and it's not about vanity, but having something to control, because everything else is uncontrollable. This can lead to an eating disorder, but I seriously can't eat right with this anxiety either. I read briefly on here about being born negative, I think that could be me. I already have my sister pegged as terminal, I'm not verbalising that though, thats why there is so much anxiety and depression. I used to have a cancer phobia, but that lies dormant at the moment. I just hate cancer right now. Cancer has been around for hundreds of years and yet in this new millennium we still have made little progress in its cure. Yes, we discover new ways to live on other planets in the future and our technology is advanced. There is too much money to be made in cancer. Sorry about the tangent, guess it had to come out.I feel selfish for feeling this way, like a dark cloud is following and will for some time and a pessimist I am, as lurking thoughts are telling me they won't get all the cancer, some will be left behind and I will lose my sister, who I love so much.

[Kurra]

Your fears @Dark_Olena are completely understandable. Our minds are always quick to the worst possible conclusion. Your feelings of depression and your anxiety in this situation are also something many if not most people in your position would be experiencing.

So much depends on the position of the brain tumour. Some can be removed quite successfully others they can remove most of it followed by radiotherapy and chemotherapy.

Hope is a powerful force. Hold on to the hope that your sister will recover.

It's also important for you to sustain an adequate level of nutrition. If you're finding it difficult to eat buy some Sustagen from the chemist or supermarket and drink that when you're not eating much.


Thinking of you 🎶💕🎶

[utopia]

@Dark_Olena. I expect this would be a very hard time for you & most likely making your anxiety worse. So it would be great if you could talk to a professional about this - your gp or psychologist. I think you need lots of extra support at this time. I know I would.
I hate not feeling in control of things. I always want to feel I have a say in what's happening in my life.
Your sister may be the one with cancer, but you are also affected by the cancer. It is your sister. You love her. Cancer is scary.
Say a prayer for the surgery to be successful. I'll be doing the same.
On the day, make sure you have support around you.