Lived Experience Forum

[skalpau]

My therapist of 11 years is retiring in May 2018. I'm not handling it well even though I've known for a year it was going to happen. We talk about it every session, but I can't seem to get away from my denial and my grief over not having her in my life anymore. It has triggered a lot for me, and I have regressed, (her words). I have an appointment with my new therapist next month. My depression has intensified and it's been hard to manage my life. Any comments/suggestions?

[greenpea]

@skalpau Hi skalpau a similar thing has just happened to me and my feelings of grief are hidden behind my medications. I don't know what the answer is except life moves on and I hope that your new therapist over time gives you a similar feeling of security as your retiring therapist did.

[Sahara]

Dear @skalpau,

that must be really hard for you... it must be like losing an old friend. 

It's good that you already have a appointment with your new therapist.... it's best to go into this new therapeutic relationship with good intentions and with an open mind. Maybe you will get a chance to discuss your feelings of loss regarding your old therapist with someone who is objective (the new therapist) and that you will gain some new insight into yourself?

Unfortunately, life is full of losses, both big and small. But like is also full of new beginnings, too.

I suffered from depression, and in the end I saw around 6 different therapists! This was not because I was dissatisfied with any of them!! It was because I kept moving towns, my circumstances kept changing and I was able to access therapy for free on 2 of those occasions, once though my university and once through a professional body, through my job.

Well, I guess I do like to shop around, too.

The thing is, I think I benefited from finding all those different opinions and personalities. No two therapists are exactly the same, and your new one might get to you think of things that you haven't come across before. It could be really good for you. 

I have a friend who has been seeing the same therapist for 10 years and she swears by him. Sometimes I wonder if she may actually be going around in circles with him and not discovering anything new about herself? Like, he may have become a bit of a 'safety blanket'? This is just my opinion, becuase otherwise, she seems basically well-adjusted and sucessful and does not require medication or anything. 

@skalpau, can I ask what other things you do to manage your depression, besides therapy?