Lived Experience Forum

[Rosie7174]

Hi Christheart, 

Thank you for your advice. Your suggestions were really helpful and I really appreciate that you took the time to respond to my post. 

I'm trying to take it one day at a time, that's a good idea. 

Today I followed your suggestions and just took it 10mins at a time, it made the time seem more manageable.

I get moments of pure grief though, they are the worst of all, the constant reminders of what I've lost. 

Missing my mum and my little dog is the worst, that familiarity is gone, and the feeling is just overwhelming.

I long to see their faces, my mum was always there for me in times of my life where I needed support. My little dog was my comfort in the hard times and now I feel so heartbroken and so alone.

I'm thankful for my partner, he is so wonderful and my tower of strength.

But it's the feelings in me which are the hardest, I feel like my emotions are haunting me, almost an enemy.

Trying to keep busy helps somewhat. 

[tyme]

Dear @Rosie7174 ,

Thank you for sharing how things are for you at the moment. You have been so courageous in stepping out and reaching for support - because you deserve it.

I am happy to hear that your brother is out of hospital. He hope he is also receiving the support he needs at this time. 

Give yourself time to heal. Grief is not a process that completes its cycle in a day or two. Allow yourself to experience grief. This is only natural and healthy. And at the same time, be gentle which yourself. 

There is so much happening for you, that reaching out to Griefline or other counselling lines may help you a lot. They are trained in this area and may be able to offer other insights into your current situation.

Please know that the SANE community is behind you and walking with you. You do not have to feel alone in this.

Also, a quick note. If you'd like to tag members into your posts, please type "@" in front of their name. This means they will receive a notification of your replies.

My thoughts are with you,

tyme

Hi @Christheart @Appleblossom @FloatingFeather @NatureLover - @Rosie7174  has responded to your amazing posts of support. Please see the above posts.

[tyme]

How are you going today @Rosie7174 ?  I thought i'd check in and say hello 🙂

tyme

[Rosie7174]

Hi Tyme,

Thank you for your thoughts.

I'm okay I guess. I'm just so sad, grief is such a god awful feeling. 

I've been trying to do normal things to help me feel normal. There is comfort in familiarity for me I've found.

I've been reflecting I guess. I think of the times I got mad at my mum in the past, or the times I got annoyed with my dog because she peed on the floor. The guilt about these things has been getting to me a bit. I don't know why I started thinking of that, there were plenty of times of love also. My thoughts just want to torment me a bit.

Also, the other thing is the "missing" part. 

To have someone in your life for so long and then the emptiness they leave in your life when they are gone is overwhelming to say the least. That's what I find myself struggling with the most at the moment.

Some good news though. The executor of my mum's estate is making progress with finalising it, so that's something.

But at the moment I guess I'm just enduring life right now, it's not something I'm celebrating. Just going through the motions..

Thank you for asking after me Tyme, I'm grateful to you.

I hope you are doing well.