Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member , 

I I I like Pumba the best best best 

Strudel/Sapphire 

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member
Zazoo's favourite is Timon!

- Maya

[Fluttershy1]

Hi @Former-Member,

I have 18-19 in my system

Littles 

Indiannah - 4 - safe - she/her

Annabelle - 5 - safe - she/her

Lola - 5 - safe

Imogene - 6 - unsafe- she/her

Stella - 7 - safe - they/them/she/her

Sapphire - 9 - safe - she/her

Rosie - 8 - unsafe - she/her

Skylar - 3 - safe - she/her

Kayla - 9 - she/her

Ella - 10 - safe - she/her

Middles

Savannah - 15 - unsafe - she/her

Ava - 16 - Safe - they/them

Sydney - 17 - unsafe - she/her

Indigo - 16•18 - safe - they/them - caretaker

Bigs

Lucy - 18 - unsafe - She/her

Sophie- unsafe - 19 - They/Them

Lilly - 19 - safe - protecter - they/them

Skye - 19 - safe - protecter - she/her

[Bellarose75]

Evening everyone, I will admit to only learning about different kinds of landscapes/system structures recently and it blew my mind. To be honest I felt robbed as we have a black hole and that's it somewhere to escape would have been lovely. 

My system seems to be in a constant state of change but for now this is us. 

Little one 4 trauma clingy and hungry 

Kimmy 5 trauma wise little soul, playful

Kim 16 ( me) trauma alcoholic s*x addict

Bear 14  trauma, ocd and aggressive not present

Nikki 40 ish protector but currently not present

Izzy 45 Host and the happy family game player not present 

Bella 40ish for now unknown role not present

Shadow age unknown aggressor unsafe 

Kimberly age unknown role not clear not present 

@Former-Member @Former-Member @destructive 

[Former-Member]

Pleasure to meet you all.
At the moment my system is a little frantic since there's a new alter who's unnacounted for.

[destructive]

@Former-Memberi don't really know what integration is but think I've heard T say that word. Don't really know what she thinks should happen but know she really keeps digging at me to find out Sarah's 'role'. Which A I don't really know, don't know how to find out, and I'm terrified of her and she doesn't like the digging so I'm not sure it's the right thing or not. Trying to trust her but don't know what o should be expecting or what's right or wrong. how do you find out their role and how do you be able to be able to talk about it even when that voice says not to talk about them.

@Fluttershy1 @Bellarose75 @Former-Member @Former-Member  thank you for sharing, I'm hoping I can learn from you in safe ways. I did try join a Facebook group to try make sense but it was all so confusing and overwhelming. The idea of an internal place or something is confusing. Did others feel like this before?

also I want to apologise ahead of time if I use a wrong term or something. I noticed on Facebook that's a big thing but I'm still learning and not even sure 

[Former-Member]

Some of our alters struggle with the idea of an internal world, but our old host was very imaginative and created one for her voices as a young child. That way she could interact with them.

[Bellarose75]

Good morning @MySunrise @Former-Member @Former-Member @destructive @Fluttershy1 ,

Just a little tip for those who are new when you post make sure you use the @ to tag the person or persons you are talking to, otherwise your post may get missed and I know that is not a good feeling.

@MySunrise , The host found out about our alters after a really tough 18 months of lossing loved ones. Christmas and boxing day that year was extremely rough to say the least, but it was during a clean up around Australia day that the sh*t really hit the fan. The husband at the time had thrown out some very specail items made by the host's children for when she returned to and graduated from high school at the age of 27 ( seems like another life time now) Then it kind of exploded. Night times where the worst all of a sudden the host had internal vioces and was lossing time like nobodys bussiness and what they thought where silly but terrifing nightmares kept them awake for days only napping when we felt safe. We had a diagnoisis within weeks and start treatment. It's been a long 15+ years with alters coming and going at will, some safe and some not so. Only now as we work to move to a system that is surportive with honest communication are we seeing what impacts this condition has had on us and those we love, some good some bad.

I am not sure who mention about not using the correct terms, I say don't worry about it. Use words that you are comfortable with and if someone is unsure of what you mean then I am sure they will ask. I have seen one term that I had never heard before and I need to go back through our chat to find it so I can ask what it means. 

It's going to be a day for me, I feel like I have the attention span of a todller and the mood swings to match. Usually when this happens it means a little has had nightmares all night and doesn't want to share. So lots of teddy cuddles, some ice cream and sleep is what I think will happen today. Whatever you are all up too today I hope it goes as smoothly as it can. Kim

[Fluttershy1]

@Bellarose75 - hi, is nice to see you. 
hope you are well. Have we spoken before?

[BraveOne]

Thanks @Former-Member  for tagging me into this convo. I havent been on here for months and Yess I am interested in talking more with other people who live with DID . To share basic strategies and expereinces ... I wonder how do other people cope with having DID 

For now it doesnt feel the right thing for Me to be openly telling everyone here about who is who inside. Ive been working with consent  and  advocating for my privacy lately and   wanting to create a more respectful culture in  how we interact internally and the outside world