Lived Experience Forum

[Complexx]

I want to be normal but I don't even know what that means. My entire life has been chaotic. Trauma has been my norm. Both of my parents have mental illness and now my greatest fear of being ill my self has become my reality. I sought help 2 days ago and have started medication tonight. I just feel numb. I've alienated so many people because I was too scared to get help earlier. I feel like I've ruined my life. I know that's probably not true but I can't escape that thought. When will the medication stabilise me?

[Former-Member]

Hi complexx and welcome to the forums. I'm glad you've found them.
Sounds like things have gotten really hard for you and I'm sorry to hear that. I've also had a lot of trauma and a chaotic life. My mum had mi. I have two kids who keep me busy now.
Medication can take a while to work and I think it's quite unique to each person. Hopefully the dr who prescribed them will be able to help more? Did they also suggest any other help? I've found medication to literally be a lifesaver for me but I think the biggest help has been through seeing a good psychologist.
I hope that being here helps,
Take care
Lj

[Melly]

Perhaps it will take 2 weeks initially but you will need to become self aware .. That's when another challenge throws you off balance - you'll begin to feel 'normal' then you won't in a few months or perhaps years then you'll need to ask your doctor for help again- she/he willow expecting this so that's okay. Blessings -hAve been there.

[Complexx]

I hope, I asked to be admitted to hospital but the dr insist that it's best if the CAT team come and see me at home. I'm not really sure what's happening and they haven't diagnosed me yet. It seems like they (CATT) are not making any strict plans for me. I've seen psychologist before but I don't know that it helped, it feels horrible to tell someone all of my problems only to have them leave me. Thanks for replying I'm sorry for complaining

[Appleblossom]

You dont need to apologise about complaining.  It is a lot to handle. I also had 2 parents with MI. We can survive but maybe not unscathed.

They are very reluctant to take people into hospital.  Have the CAT team come out to see you at home?

It usually depends on the meds but antidepressants usually take about 3 weeks to reach the levels needed to have an effect.

I am 55 and have been working on my issues for a long time ... its important to believe that you have a good possibility to live a decent life.

I found posting on the forum and reading about others helps me come to terms with being me.

Welcome.

[littleone]

@Complexx, there is no such thing as 'normal'. Everyone is unique and different in their own way, that is what makes them special. I know the feeling of having someone close becoming a trigger towards depression. It's awesome that you have seeked help on your own, that shows that you want to get better. However, medication will only stabilise you for so long. But they do help in the mean time while you're getting back on your feet with your feelings and coping with your triggers.

Maybe, try some new / old hobbies, I found that helped me out alot. 🙂

I hope this helps you 🙂

[AlienBP2]

Hey complex "don't beat yourself up"
It's quite possible your just suffering from stress
As for being normal...don't worry about it just do your best...
As we know their are plenty of variations on "normal"
We all know people worse off than ourselves and I'm grateful I'm not them
This forum you will find plenty of " friends" with empathy, advise from their experiences as you would realise
I think meditation might be good for you
There is a CD by Dr Gillian Ross called "meditation 2 " and another similar called
"Meditation for the third eye ( the minds visual eye)
It is available on ABC records. Available at Dymocks or order on net probably
It focuses on " breathing exercises" and focusing on your breathing
It's easy to do the first track is the main one....Best wishes AlienBP2

[AlienBP2]

I used to think I wanted to be normal
But now I now better....lol !

[Appleblossom]

It can be so hard to struggle with uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.

I have finally experienced the felt experience of feeling as normal as the next guy or woman ... it took a long time but it did happen, even for me ...

My mum had major insight when she taught piano to a female psychiatrist and her mother .. I used to teach them when mum was overseas for long trips ... its weird ... how the wheel of life can turn ...

I love @AlienBP2 last quip .. but in your time ... it can happen for you too. @Complexx

[MockingJay]

What's wrong with not being normal? If you think trauma has been your normal then look at what you deem to b better off as n work towards acquiring that. Pick a goal n work towards that. Don't focus on the negative  because you will never notice the positive happening in your life. So what if your parents have a mental illness. You are not your parents. Your doctor should have told you when the Meds kick in..don't b shy about asking for help or Q's. It's the only way we can improve our quality of life. Don't become a mushroom.