Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

Yes, my husband is my rock. He is a very caring, strong person.

You being the peace maker in the family and showing much compassion would of, unbeknown to you, made your SIL feel small. Hence one of the reasons why she tries to bring you down - possibly the same for your parents given they are also caring people.

That's what insecure people do in the desperate attempt to try and feel better about themselves. Instead of venturing down the hard route of being giving which they aren't very capable of and/or chose not to do. That's why they can be so destructive of sensitive good people. You will find her circle of friends/ family she invites over in preference are just like her in ways. You have made the right decision. 

Those recall words that threw you - were you suppose to try and memorise them first and didn't, or just random words starting with C, T, D? I am not familiar with cognitive tests. When do you do the more extensive tests. Hope your day was a good one x

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member I just read you apologising about triggering me.  It really was ok.

I am probably just 5 secs from being triggered 150% on a good day.  Too much grief and with the loss of my daughters and health etc ... but YOU actually made me remember how much LOVE there also was in my poor fractured family ... so thanks for that triggering ... Now that I have got my story out .. I can go back and console myself with memories of the love.

@Former-Member Hope you forgive me about not replying quicky to that post ages ago ... you have a lovely way of posting.

TBH when @PeppiPatty tried to be nice to me on the forum a year ago when I first started posting I had difficulty hearing the genuineness in people when they were being kind ... I was on the defensive against bad-nice .. if you get what I mean .. but I have settled down a lot on that ... thanks to the huge range of interactions I have had on the forum ...

@Former-Member Sometimes I get stretched too thin ... and will mainly read and just 'like' posts ... sometimes I post a lot. I have to take a little time out as need to do music and other commitments, but I will be back.

Apple

[Former-Member]

Dear @Appleblossom

There is nothing to forgive my friend. You are wonderful person and support on here - totally understand that no-one can be there for everyone. I was happy that you responded at all and I really appreciated it. Never think you let me down - on the contrary. With all you have endured and still have going on I am amazed at the level of support you give here and highly admire you.

I sincerely am feeling for you with the loss/estrangement of your daughter and your struggles with your health. Sending warm hugs. I have gone through this also and know of its overwhelming grief as there is no closure. I found there was very little understanding and support for this type of grief out there. This could well be having an adverse effect on your health also. 

I am pleased you are taking some time to enjoy your music - soothing for the soul. It's important for you right now to do those things which stimulate your mind but also relaxes you at the same time. You sound so talented - a very special gift indeed. I always wished I had learned how to play the piano and to write music. It would be so therapeutic and joyful to express oneself so. 

Am here for you also my friend if you need to talk. Your strength inspires me 🌹 xx

[Former-Member]

Hi again @Appleblossom

Thanks for the clarification. I'm glad my post was able to bring up some happy tears of joy and connection to your family of origin. Just always remember you are a beautiful person always have been and always will be. Hope you are having a nice night.

[Former-Member]

Hi again @Former-Member

Thank you so much for your message!

Glad to hear you have such a caring and kind husband by your side my friend. I honestly don't what the problem is with my SIL I think most of it is either jealously, insecurity and immaturity all round up together. But another part of the euation could be that she projects a lot of herself onto other people if that makes sense or have I explained it the wrong way.

Thanks for the clarification about the cognitive testing- what threw me was being able to recall random words from those letters (C,D,T). I'm not sure if I should be worried about this because when I came home I did it again with other letters and I was able to do this quite easily at home. I'm meant to do the more extensive test on the 26th August which is a few weeks away and plus I have to phone to have another test which I haven't made an appointment for as yet.

I hope you had a great day too.

[Former-Member]

I really need to phone tomorrow to organize my test that the psychiatrist wants me to have. I felt doing things today was a little bit easier for me and hope this continues for long as possible. Even though I am slowly making progress I still feel somewhat empty and lacking direction.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

Glad to read that today was a little easier for you. Sorry to read that you are feeling empty. 

What are your dreams my friend? If you had a crystal ball what would you like to see yourself doing in the future? What would be happening? What would you like to see?

Hope tomorrow is that bit easier again. One small step at a time my friend and before you know it you will have climbed a mountain x

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

So good to hear from you.

I guess its just a niggling feeling I have but it seems to bring my attention to my body and what I am actually feeling at the time. The empty feeling seems to come with some anxety too.

I'm not sure what I really what to do but I am getting closer to knowing what that mite be. Over the next week or two I think this is were I want to focus and also to do some volunteer work.

I am feeling a bit better today and I hope this continues. How are you @Former-Member ?

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

I have not heard from you in a few days- just wondering how you are going? I read on another post you learnt to swim a Bondi, and my Dad lived in the Eastern Suburbs and he also learnt to swim at Bondi too. I think he spend a lot of time down at the beach at Bondi. I'm thinking of going to Sydney soon watch a roosters game.

Hope you are keeping well my friend. Love and friendship always....

[Former-Member]

Hello @Former-Member

How are you going? I have been thinking about you a lot.

Sorry I haven't been on here much and didn't reply sooner. It has been hard for me this week - my husband has been in chronic pain due to his surgery (still healing, very slowly), and he is someone who has a high tolerance for pain. So I have been doing most things to take the pressure from him and still keep up those activities that I have committed myself to (this is the time for me to really "push myself" otherwise I will lose what I gained work/friendship wise. I will lose me.

My daughter is also really depressed as her boyfriend broke it off with her - it's evident he has been using her all along. It's like the Helen Reddy song went "he taught it all to Ruby and just let her be!" I am so worried about her mental health now and what she may do as a result. So I am with her as much as I can. My heart is aching.

It is a very difficult time for me right now but I will take it one day at a time. I just wish my daughter would change her circle of friends - they use and abuse her. I pray that she sees and has the confidence to do better - make genuine, respectful friends. At the moment she has not one real friend. No parent likes to see their adult child suffer so - my husband was crying.

So I haven't forgotten you my friend. It's a wonderful goal to pursue volunteer work and that where your heart leads you. Don't give up, keep striving and know that you are not alone. Love surrounds you always xxx