Lived Experience Forum

[Letisha]

Hello there
I have not really got anyone to talk to about things without feeling like I am a failure.
I have been in a relationship with a man with Bipolar for 10 years in those years I have been there for him financially and emotional support. In those 10 years we have been through child visitation rights his daughter to his wife, unsuccessful. Prison he spent 3 years I visited him and financially suported him in there. Moved about 8 times since 2008. Had a child to him he is now two. Seperated from him because he became so unwell that he was violent. Moved me and my little baby into a 1bedroom unit. Reconciled and moved into a two bedroom unit with him all doing this being unwell and its now gotten to the point where I don't feel mentally well myself. Physically emotionally heath wise I am very over weight , and seriously depressed. Finacially in debt and not knowing what can do differently to make things better. I can't work because I am deaf and dealing with servere eyesight loss.
Was sexually abused by male members of my family from 3 years of age to about 12 years old.
Really sad right now.

[Acacia]

Hi @Letisha

Welcome to the forums. I read a few of your posts elsewhere and I can see how caring you are – even with all this going on, you’re still offering support to others here.

I'm sorry to hear about everything that's happening and how sad you are feeling. Do you have support for yourself at the moment? It sounds like you have really been through a lot for many years but the focus has often been on your partner’s mental health, not your own.

How are things with your partner now? It sounds like the reconciliation maybe isn't feeling so good anymore. It's important that you and your little one are safe.

[Alone]

Hi Letisha,

I was reading your post and I thought to myself "this woman is not a failure, look at how much she has been through and survived!"  You've been through a lot.  When you start feeling down remember that you have a 100% success rate at dealing with all the things that you have been through.  You're not a failure, you are still trying to get ahead and that's what counts.  If your having financial problems can you talk to a financial counsellor?

I dont know the answer to your problems, but be kind to yourself.  You deserve the best, we all do.

[HellonWheels]

That is a lot to cope with.
I wonder about your relationship with your little boy- sounds like you're close.
If you focus on him and the joy he gives you that may give you a sense of what to do next.
Also do a little thing for yourself each day, smell a flower, have a bath, light a candle.
All the best.

[Appleblossom]

@Letisha Your story shows how much strength you have: simply to keep going regardless of disability, sexual abuse and trauma. Our children do bring this out of us. I found it very difficult to focus on self care and still do, but there are a lot of tips on the sight. 

You have been very forgiving of your partner and his challenges have been considerable, but you and your child deserve safety and security and calm. YOU both deserve it and NEED it.

Gentleigh Bentleigh.

[Letisha]

Thanks everyone