How to challenge your negative thoughts

[Shaz51]

hello my sister @BlueBay 

how has your day been today xx

[Shaz51]

hello and hugs my sister @BlueBay , hope you are ok xxx

[BlueBay]

hi @Shaz51 

I've been quiet lately.  I had another EMDR therapy session last Friday and it was about my mum and how horrible she was when i told her about my childhood abuse.  But now after two intense EMDR sessions the memory of 'that day' doesn't trigger me anymore.  it's amazing kind of therapy.  part of me feels sorry for my mum even though it doesn't take away the horrible way she has treated me.

my next EMDR session will be on my dad.  this one will be extremely hard.  i started a new medication the other day and it caused a few issues but now it has settled down.

you know @Shaz51 it will be my dad's birthday soon in feb and he will be 89.  i am so sad that i am missing out but at the same time i can't go back to be verbally and emotoinally abused by my mum.  i just can't.  so this is the price i pay.  i don't know how he looks; how he is except for when my sister calls me which is not very often.

i will be away with three other girl friends in feb and my dad's birthday is on the second day of my holiday.  i have told my friend and she said they will keep me distracted and i am hoping i will be okay.  it's always hard on that day.

we are starting to get hot weather down here.  went to the beach yesterday for 4 hours, it was so busy that all i could see were cabanas everywhere.  the water was so clear and beautiful.  going again tomorrow and my D, her fiance and girls will come down too for the day.  Hubby is working.

how have you been? how is mr shaz?

hello my friends @Jynx @AuntGlow @tyme @Appleblossom and others reading on 

[tyme]

Hey @BlueBay ,

Great to see you swing past and thanks for sharing your experiences of EMDR. Wow in that former triggers are no longer a trigger. What do they exactly do in EMDR for it to work?

[BlueBay]

Hey @tyme 

Firstly I had to picture the image of the memory. Tell her what comes up.  For eg. My mum didn’t love me or support me. 
then the psychologist uses two fingers and moves them left up right and I have to follow her fingers. By doing this it is reprocessing the trauma. For me it took about 2 sessions with me wanting to stop but I ended up pushing through. I was in tears so much. So now after the session i can see the day I saw my mum in the past tense and not in the current moment like it was doing. It now doesn’t bother me visualising “that day”   
it’s very powerful stuff. I’m still not sure if it works. But last week it felt like a bit of weight had lifted. 

I still have a lot of EMDR sessions to in relation to my childhood abuse ie. The perpetrators; my self worth; and intimacy. 

hope I’ve explained it properly. 

[tyme]

Wow @BlueBay ! Really?? That's so incredible! So is it along the lines of hypnosis sort of thing? 

[BlueBay]

Hi @tyme 

If you google Eye movement desensitisation reprocessing EMDR it will explain more. I guess it’s like hypnosis. instead of being very angry with my mum I now feel sorry for her and have empathy for her. It’s really hard to explain unless you e done this therapy. But it doesn’t take away the fact they what she did and said to me was very wrong. 

[tyme]

I don't even know what to say. So after two sessions, you felt the impact. That's pretty phenomenal. Are you going to continue it for other painful memories @BlueBay ?

And yes, I hear that what happened was not right. Yet at least you are no longer a prisoner to those memories. 

Thank you for sharing.

[BlueBay]

Yeah @tyme there is a lot more to do. 
all of my childhood sexual abuse

my self worth 

intimacy

grief in losing the relationship with parents

grief in losing part of my childhood

eating disorder

need for validation

health anxiety

So much. It’s interesting because the therapist I had for the past 2 years kept saying “no you don’t need EMDR” when actually I do. This new psychologist is amazing. In 6 months of seeing her things are changing already. 

[tyme]

How promising it must feel to notice there has been a shift. That's remarkable. I've never known much about the treatment. I really hope you find ways to 'let go' of the trauma so that you can live life the way you want and deserve. You don't deserve to be a prisoner to your past. You are better than that. And it's not fair @BlueBay 

This is not to say that what happened was okay, because it's not.. but I'm here to see you rise above it.