How to challenge your negative thoughts

[BlueBay]

Hi @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Eve7 @rav3n @tyme and others reading along - 

I have been diagnosed with BPD, cPTSD, depression, anxiety, eating disorder.  I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

I saw my dr today and he has suggested that i try to 'challenge my thoughts'.  I am at the moment on a huge downer with my depression - no motivation, no interest in much, can't be bothered, angry with myself etc etc etc and my negative thoughts are instant.  Once these negative thoughts are with me I 'go with it' and it 'drags me into a spiral of negative self thoughts' (hope this makes sense!!)

my question is - how on earth do i challenge my negative thoughts?? That's not something i do myself because i get so absorbed by my own thoughts.  It never occurs to me that i need to stop and challenge it.

If i am with my dr or psychiatrist and they point it out - then after a little while with them i can see it but don't believe it.  (this is not making sense???)

i am struggling at the moment and don't know how to write this to you all

i get angry with my dr because he has no idea how hard it is to challenge those very strong negative thoughts 

a lot of those thoughts have been ingrained in me since a child and a lot of them i believe to be true; the exact truth 

[AuntGlow]

Hello @BlueBay! 

Thank you so much for such an honest and relatable post. Challenging negative thoughts is SO. BLOODY. HARD. 

(Especially when our brains have become very good at thinking a certain way.)

When we experience trauma, our body and mind do everything in their power to keep us safe. And even though it can feel so overwhelming, this automatic spiral into negative thinking is a familiar and 'easier' pathway for our minds to take (but not the best at judging us fairly and lovingly!). 

It can also be really tricky to challenge these thoughts when we are dysregulated, because the body is still in survival mode. So, I wonder if practicing some self-soothing first may help you to slowly integrate this practice? Has your psych helped you this at all before? 

Regarding challenging your thoughts, this page has a wonderful guide you can follow: Challenging Automatic Negative Thoughts — Mind My Peelings 

Let me know how you go and if you have any questions. 🥰

Lastly, I think it's amazing that you are cultivating inner awareness and asking further questions, that takes so much courage. Please know that how you are feeling makes so much sense and your healing is allowed to take time; it doesn't need to be perfect or linear. 

Let's start challenging these internalised beliefs together - one day at a time. 💪💛

[BlueBay]

hi @AuntGlow i wasn't sure if anyone would understand what i wrote

thank you 

yes what you wrote makes perfect sense. yes it's easier and safer to stay with the negative because it's too scary to challenge; its too confronting.  this is something i need to talk to my psych about.

i will have a look at the link you provided.

thanks again for understanding and believing what i wrote xxx

[Eve7]

You did make sense @BlueBay @and thanks for the tag.

When I’m well I can challenge my thoughts just by saying “No, I’m not like that or No, I don’t want to do that” but usually I find it really difficult.

[Ed1975]

@BlueBay 

My old GP and psychiatrist have no clue. They only know what to medicate you with. It wasn't until I started seeing a psychologist some 5 months ago that I began to learn about challenging my behaviours and negative thoughts. But even now I'm fighting every day with my demons. It's emotionally draining. Research tells me it can take many months, if not years to change the plasticity of your brain. So when a GP says sh*t like 'just challenge your thoughts', it tells me maybe look for a new GP because he has no understanding of your situation. 

[tyme]

Hey @BlueBay ,

I just saw this post and it was exactly what I was asking you in the other thread - about working with the rumination.

I hear how hard it is to alter thought patterns that are ingrained. It's like asking someone to change the only way they know how to think. I agree this is so so hard. But I also agree that it's probably one of the only ways to help someone move on in life.

I'm speaking from experience. I had to work on challenging my thought patterns continuously in order to change things. It was hard work.

I have to say though, I don't think I would've been able to do it on my own. I had the support of a senior psychologist to be able to do this, and it took about 3 years of intensive support.

However, the ultimate choice is yours. We will support you with whatever you choose to do or not to do.

Here for you hun, tyme

[BlueBay]

thanks @tyme xx

I need to work a lot on this. 

I've actually decided to change psychologist. My current one has said a few things that I don’t agree with - I have ADHD and I don’t have BPD. I walked out very confused and upset. My psychiatrist was angry at this as she is not qualified to diagnose. I have asked my counsellor to try EMDR as this was requested by my psychiatrist. But I kept getting brushed off.  She would say no I don’t think you need this. 

I have found a clinical psychologist who does EMDR and also trauma and eating disorders. She is at my drs rooms.  My dr said she is fantastic. My first appt is in 2 weeks. Looking forward to meeting her. 

why do people ruminate? Is it because their mind is racing from one thing to another. 

[tyme]

Hey @BlueBay ,

I just completed a training a few weeks ago and there was a section about trauma and rumination. Rumination is considered 'unhelpful'. Before the training, I thought ruminating was a way to help people process things. But no, this training said it pretty much as NO benefit. This training was through Phoenix Australia which is a state trauma service.

I reckon rumination comes with trauma - a way our body TRIES to reason and process things, but it inevitably causes us to since deeper and deeper into despair so that we can't 'let go'. I feel that it then takes over our lives and becomes 'reality'.

What I noticed is that with intensive support, I was able to pave new paths in my brain as learn new ways of thinking. Then, it was about using these new 'paths' more and more so that it would eventually be my new way of thinking. I think this is what has happened to me so that I don't even go on the old 'paths' in my brain anymore. 

Part of this thinking is that I know our brain can be likened to a muscle. The more we exercise parts of it, the stronger those parts become. When I keep forging a path down with those maladpative thinking patterns, that part of my brain got stronger and stronger and hence it was hard work to 'undo' that thinking. And yes, much of it was because of trauma.

I really believe trauma has a lot to do with how our brains work.

Sorry for the ramble... this is only my head's thinking and my experiences.

[BlueBay]

Thanks for the explanation @tyme 

It does make sense. 
trauma does so much to our body and mind - emotionally and physically. 

this is a lot I need to work on 

I guess one step at a time 

…… but you know @tyme sometimes I think “I’ve been in therapy for over 10 yrs with various psychologists “ that I thought I would be ok and not need therapy. I’m starting to think therapy will be for life. - and that is scary!!! 

[tyme]

Actually, what I found is that it's not HOW much/long your therapy, but how EFFECTIVE the therapy is @BlueBay 

I have one really great psychologist who I see maybe twice a year? I used to see him fortnightly. We worked on a lot of skills work so that even now, when I have a unhelpful thought pop up, I can pull out the strategy/skill and work with it.

For me, what I needed was therapy so I could be guided around how to think. I feel I had to relearn to think properly because all my life, trauma altered my thought patters. Hence I needed a skilled therapist to teach me to think.

Sounds weird, but this is the only way I know how to explain it.

I was explicitly taught to THINK and didn't know how to think properly until I was in my mid-30s. All those years before was simply rumination upon rumination.

Long story short, I don't feel I need continuous therapy. However, there is continuous work in maintaining those helpful neural pathways in my brain.

I hope this makes some sort of sense.

I just know it works - for me. I've only seen a psychologist once this year for a maintainence appointment and just to give him an update on my life lol.