Lived Experience Forum

[CannonSalt]

How do you encourage yourself when facing a challenging event?  At the moment, all I can think of is that I survived an event worse than this, and I keep ruminating on the past event, which does nothing but add to my anxiety over the coming event. 

[Appleblossom]

The best thing that works for me is telling myself that

"Its not all about me"  eg if I need to accompany for an exam etc ... that the student will suffer more than I ... nerves are a waste of time and an indulgence then ... so I get my act together

[AlienBP2]

Learn to "meditate" this will calm you done as a consequence also "objectivity" will be increased ...so that you can give yourself some positive affirmations...,which will also reduce your anxiety level....

[Former-Member]

I think I've tried to learn to accept that I can control only so much about challenging things that come up (like family court and a criminal trial) and try to do the best with those parts that I know about and prepare myself for those and then try.... Not to ruminate over the things that I can't control that are coming up. But it's hard and when I'm low it feels impossible to control anything!!
Lj

[AlienBP2]

Yes stress can make you like that....
All you can do is " surrender" to it for awhile and "chill out"

[AlienBP2]

Also write down what you wish to achieve;
Then put these on the fridge in the form of an affirmation ( positive statement)
See my last entry on the unconscious mind and reading with the inner voice..,,particular the last half....Allan

[chookmojo]

Hi @CannonSalt

This is a direct cut and paste from a Paul McKenna article that I have found useful countless times - I have included the full article, but have changed to Italics when it gets to the relevant bits.

When used regularly this process makes a WORLD of difference . I usually do it all through writing/journalling as that works best for me to cement it all down, and I can re-read as often as I need to for the particualr issue. While there is no douibt that you get MORE beenfit from doing this on all negative thoughts, it is still effective if you have one recurring issue that you want to get on top of.

"The Negative Thought Fast

I WANT to share with you one of the most important

techniques I know. I first used it in 1990, and since then I've noticed a

remarkable upturn in my confidence and ability to solve problems.

I believe this technique could make the single biggest difference to your

life.

However, it only works if you use it regularly. Some people don't bother

to do this, probably because they don't believe one technique could make such

an amazing difference, but, I promise you, it can.

Scientific research at the University of California has proved that the more

we repeat a behaviour, the stronger that pattern becomes; the more we neglect

it, the weaker it gets. Just like in the legendary experiment involving

Pavlov's dogs.

In our culture, many people turn to things such as cigarettes, alcohol,

chocolate, drugs, shopping and gambling. Through repetition, they have

hardwired themselves to these stimulants to change the way they feel. It's

the same with negative thought patterns.

All of us, from time to time, think we can't do something, believe we are

not worthy, or just lack confidence. However, the people who think these

kinds of thoughts excessively over the years programme themselves to be

negative.

The technique I'm about to suggest is a simple remedy.

It's called the Negative Thought Fast, and it works the way it sounds.

You are going to deny yourself negative thoughts and give yourself positive

ones instead, but in a particular way.

For the next five days, whenever you feel bad about anything, stop, and

follow these five easy steps.

• Ask yourself what you are feeling bad about and look at what image comes to

mind.

• Remember, every feeling is created by an internal picture or sound in your

mind.

• Find out what the intention of the image is. Negative emotions are only

signals to alert you to pay attention to something. For example, if I have a

worrying feeling and I stop and notice the image is an upcoming meeting, my

mind is trying to alert me to things that might go wrong in that meeting.

• So it's simple. I think of all the things I can do to stop those problems

occurring.

• When I've done that, I drain all the colour out of the image, shrink it and

move it away into the distance.

• Then I make a big bright picture of the meeting going perfectly the way I

want it to.

You only get the amazing benefits of this technique if you practise it

absolutely every time you feel bad about anything for the next five days.

Through the sheer repetition of this technique during that time, you will

totally recondition yourself. You will become more positive, energised and

optimistic."

Hope this helps or that you at least find it interesting. I absolutley use this techniques myself and find it very effective. As I said I write out all of the steops, in detail, because I find that helps me to be more aware of my specific fears and to lock in the new image.

[Appleblossom]

That is a great summation of the ideas in Creative Visualisation by Shakti Gawain and we are back to the East West phiolosophical differences ... and yes the approach does yield great results.