Lived Experience Forum

[GaryR]

After a battle with depression and life changing times my wife and I have decided to separate.

my Journey into Darkness started (We think) started after back surgery 2 years ago fixing up Chronic disabling pain. After coming off 10 years of medication and then losing friends to horrible deaths I became a different person. I then sunk into depression.

my wife and I had an honest talk tonight and we decided to separate. I need time to find myself and work out me on my own. No big fight. No hate. I will move out when I find somewhere to live. We have agreed to sell the house. We will always be connected and remain friends. I don’t know where to for now but know I am scared. I know I need this time to heal and get further treatment for my Illness. I have got here support to do this. We told our Adult Children who I have to say were supportive and very understanding. We will always be four of us even if others join us. 

I am just beginning to feel the pain of this new Journey. We have made the decision and there is no going back. I am hoping time out will deal with my depression. I want it all to end. I want to see the light. 

Depressed,Lonely,Scared,Separated. 

[SleepyPanda]

Hi @GaryR

Welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry to read you are going through a difficult time. There are many caring people here at the forum and I hope you will find some assistance here. 

If you are feeling distressed at the moment, please seek assistance from

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

Take care

SleepyPanda

[comingup18]

My friend I hate to hear of you and your wife deciding to separate

but I do hope you find the help that you need to get back on track

with your life.  May you find the peace and comfort that you are seeking

and find your joy and happiness back.

[utopia]

@GaryR

It seems like you have been able to think clearly enough to decide that you need time out to focus on yourself.  And I think you deserve that time. 10 years in pain,  then the emotional pain of losing your friends. That's a lot for anyone to try to deal with. 

So what plans do you have for looking after your mental health and managing your depression? 

Do you have a psychiatrist and psychologist that you see on a regular basis? 

Living with depression is not easy - especially when you've been in your current depressive state for so long.

Would love to hear your plans

[GaryR]

I made this decision so I can have time to heal and work out who I am. I am pretty sure I know that answer but need to come to terms with that and the pain that it may cause others. I am seeing a Phycologist on a Mental Health plan. I have also joined a Men’s group which is a great source of support. My Wife and Children now know of my Mental Health issues and the need to deal with it on my own. My wife had asked that I seek more counselling and spend more time with with my Mens group which I will.  

For the First time in my life I will be asking for help from my Mens group. Our wider family and friends don’t know of our decision yet.