Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

[Molliex]

Thanks @greenpea I appreciate your reply. No need to read the whole thread, I know you care 💕💕🌻🌻

[Molliex]

Terrible night. Had awful insomnia, awake for hours. Feel sick with tiredness and worry today. 

[Gazza75]

Hi @Molliex ,

Sorry to  hear about your experiences at work yesterday.  Its so horrible, and of all days the R U OK one..  Grrrrr.  I'm glad you have been reaching out for support here and on the help lines.  Hope you feel more comfortable talking to your doctor and psych next time.  I find it very diffucult to do.

Not sure what else to say, but, we are here for you 🙂 

[Molliex]

Thanks @Gazza75 , you don't need to say more. Just having the support of all of the wonderful people on here is helpful.

I took such good steps with my psych the previous few appointments, I'm annoyed at myself for shutting down this time. I was too scared to share how bad I really felt. Ashamed I guess, I don't know. 

[Gazza75]

@Molliex,

Try and be patient with yourself.  Its a lot of pressure and things to process.  You might get more comfortable talking about it in time. 

MH is hard enough to deal with let alone when you are bullied and treated like crap at work.  I was pretty mad/upset reading your post.

Maybe you can make a short list of what you want to get through in your next session.  Just a thought.

Are you working part or full time? 

[Molliex]

Hi @Gazza75 . I work full-time, but I am on 4 day weeks for the next 6 weeks due to my MI. My Dr wants me to have a little rest, and less stress. I'm seeing him on Monday, I know he'll be really concerned. I gave my psych permission to write him a letter to update him on our sessions and my psych's recommendations going forward. I am lucky to have good MI professionals who work together.

I like my psych a lot, just beating myself up (as I always do) about wasting a session 😞

I already wrote down some things I wish I had said last time. It's a good tip, thank you. 

[Gazza75]

It's pretty hard working full time with a MI.  Especially if your not sleeping very well from pressure and racing thoughts.  I'd try and be diligent in geting into a healthy sleep routine.  Not sleeping really brought me undone last year when I had a breakdown and basically ruined my life.

Try not to beat yourself up over the last session, it was just one and you can get back on track.  It's really great that you have a supportive team that you are comfortable and confident in working with 🙂

I can't really put my finger on what I have found about returning to work with my issues.  Just feel out of place and that I'm somehow different to everyone else. 

Your doing really well to hold down a full time role 🙂

[Molliex]

Sometimes I don't really know how I keep going @Gazza75 . I have a young kid as well, so life is busy. I was only diagnosed in May (despite a lifetime off issues) so actually owing up to it and getting help etc. is still so new to me.

Thanks for your supportive comments, it means a lot. I hope you have a good day. 

[Gazza75]

Your welcome @Molliex . 

Hope you have a comfortable day and maybe catch up on some rest if you can.

[Molliex]

Morning @Gazza75 @greenpea @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @BlueBay @MDT @CheerBear @saturnzoon @Shaz51 and whoever else might be passing through.

Had my best day in ages yesterday. A day off being a mum, just to hang out with my husband and relax. It was great. Only bad spot was my Dr's called and rescheduled my Monday appointment to the following Monday because of a family emergency. Totally get Dr's have lives too and hope things are OK.

But this morning I woke up with a giant ball of anxiety. Another 8 days until I see him and get a med review/psychiatrist referral!?! My psychologist wrote him a letter after our appt on Thursday because he was so worried about me. Thursday night was the darkness night I've had in so long, and I truly didn't know if I'd be here.

Anyway, just panicking a bit about this curve ball. Also my boss meets with HR tomorrow about my MH and our director's unacceptable behaviour, so feeling sick with worry about that. Argh, stupid head 😣😣😣😣