Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Janna]

I met with a Disability Support Officer at the SPS school my son is still enrolled in today. The end result of the meeting was this. My son's enrolment at the school has been officially terminated due to his ongoing inability to attend. He has now been referred to an officer from the Dept. of Family and Community Services, (Ageing, Disability and Home Care) with the view of getting him in the “Transition to Work Program”. Incase your not familiar with this, here is a link if you want to become more familiar with the program http://www.adhc.nsw.gov.au/__data/assets/file/0003/228288/Transition_to_Work_Guidelines_2013.pdf

The program provides funding and support for 2 years.

I have a meeting scheduled for 14th March in which I will again meet with the Disability Support Officer to complete the extensive application form which is needed in order to assess his level of disability. The lady I met with gave me some hope by presenting some case histories and I found some comfort in hearing that with the right nurturing and support my son may be able to get to an acceptable level of independence. She spoke about the program and how a support person would be allocated to him in order to develop a trusting relationship and through this relationship they can work together with him to achieve something better than living in his room.

We’ve done the health and education system and now embark upon the next. I’d like to believe that this, combined with his increasing maturity, and the effects of therapy, will yield some positive results.   This is a process that involves many things.  The transition from child to adult is big, but the acceptance that my child is officially "disabled" is another.  This process has harshly reminded me that I am no longer dealing with an adolescent with? behavioural issues, but that my son now fully qualifies to receive disability support as an adult.  

I hold hope, as I always do, that this last thread of support will have some sort of positive action in his life.  Beyond this, I really don't know what more myself, or any support can offer.  It's so sad to see a child cast off into the world with such a handicap and not a place I ever envisaged I'd be in.  Lots of emotions for me right now.  My boy is becoming a man.

Janna 

[Appleblossom]

@Janna I will check the link as it might be useful in my household too.

I hear deep sadness in your post but also your usual helpful optimism.

Take care

[Solar]

Hi @Janna

I am wishing you all the very best with this. And I can hear the sadness and frustration in your post in regards to this being a 'disablity' but perhaps you can see it as yes - a mental health issue - so an illness - but the 'disability' part might only be the transition. If he can find ways forward then he will become independent and he will find something that can keep him on track and give him that small amount of motivation that has eluded him for so long. 

I know I had to fill out a carer form for Centrelink at one stage as I had to be home to ensure my son didn't harm himself and it was a very difficult form to fill out as it focused mostly on physical disablities and not mental health.  Our psychiatrist encouraged me to make sure I put down how dependent he was on me and she also completed the back section of the form.  Don't leave sections unticked that you think might not help the outcome of the application. 

We are kind of in limbo at the moment - and not sure of the next steps forward but each new thing we try is at least a chance for us to change our focus and energies!  So I know how you feel.

Its a rocky road but you are good mum and doing all you can to help your son take those steps forward.

Hang in there - 

Solar x

[Janna]

Thanks @Solar for your reply.  It's been nice hearing from someone who has experienced something very, very similar.  There is a great sense of relief that school is no longer an issue.  As long as that enrolment existed there was an uspoken pressure and a continual undercurrent of failure lurking in the background.  So in many respects  I welcome this so that we can put that part of this journey behind us.  My son should rightfully have finished Year 12 last year, but due to repeating it would have been this year.  All his friends from his original school have graduated and are moving onto to higher education and I have found it quite emotionally triggering to be aware of their achievements via their proud parents.  I also live immediately adjacent to a high school, which for a short time my son was enrolled in (school number 3).  My back balcony faces directly onto their playing oval (thankfully separated by some trees) so every single day I hear the bells ringing, the announcements and can see the boys kicking balls and playing games.  I find that difficult as well.  My bad luck to have this is my face every day as a reminder!

I have to accept that my son's mental illness is a disability.  When mental illness gets to the level that it significantly impairs a person's abilities then it is a disability.  I recall some time back I downloaded a PDF Application for a Disability Pension.  After reading and ticking the extensive questions I was suprised that my son's level of disability would be considered severe.  I'm still intending to get this application in, but not too sure now whether he can receive this whilst also being engaged in a funded "Transition to Work" program.  From some preliminary discussions with my son, in which I outlined the general gist of the program, I left feeling that the support officer assigned to him will certainly have his/her work cut out.  It's not going to be easy to shift my son from the isolating comfort of his room, but who knows.  I remain hopeful.

I will continue forward, step by step in this alongside my son.  Thanks again for your supportive response.  It is truly appreciated.

Take care

Janna