anRe: A long rave

[eth]

Morning all @Mazarita @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Former-Member  and anyone else passing by.  Hope today has started gently and continues to be peaceful.  Take care xx

[Zoe7]

Not a bad day here @eth Busy but the kids were okay so that made it easier. Hope you have had a good day 💜

[eth]

Yes it was a good day for me too yesterday @Zoe7  Working on what will be a mixed media artwork .... the top 2/3 of a mandala with an image of a lotus the bottom part.  Took a while to make a stencil of it because I have no tracing paper or carbon paper (which would have made it so much less time to do).  Enjoying the process.  All this art stuff is something I've always felt blocked and big emotions when I try to create something myself.  So I've spent a lot of time colouring mandalas with all this extra time at home.  I think I must've had bad experiences with at least one art teacher when I was very young and it formed a core belief that I'm just no good at it so why try?  So this exercise is a good bridge into painting etc for me.  Painted the lotus with gesso this morning to see how that works as a surface for acrylic paint.  And used watercolours to do the background yesterday.  If I can become more skilled just using the materials then it will be easier to create my own works.  Having better tools would be good - there's no limit to how much one can spend on materials.

Today is a busy one with zoom meetings and  my psychiatrist appointment on facetime, so I won't get much more done on it today.  

Hope it's a good day for you - I think this might be your last week before the holidays.  Take care, stay kind xoxo

[Zoe7]

I am loving your foray into art @eth It is such a wonderful way to both express ourselves and get lost in the creativity of it all. Yes it can become expensive with all the tools we can purchase but starting small and building them up over time to use can be exciting too.

I hope your meeting went okay today. I have 3 more days until the holidays and cannot wait.

[Adge]

Maybe I should try this - Screaming obscenities is faster, cheaper & more satisfying than Therapy....

[Adge]

[eth]

Hi and good morning to all passing here today.

I can see a lot of tags from people in the last few days.  I haven't been here since Tuesday morning so there's a lot happened in the meanwhile.  Probably too much for me to catch up with each of you individually sorry.  @TAB @Former-Member @Judi9877 @outlander @MDT @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Eve7 @Former-Member @Maggie @Fluttershy1 @Zoe7 @Sans911 @Former-Member  thanks for tagging me - I'll read your posts shortly.

Hello also to @Silenus @Mazarita @Adge @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Snowie @Exoplanet @Angels333 @Adge @NatureLover @Molliex @greenpea @Appleblossom @WriterMelb @BPDSurvivor @Dadcaringalone @Former-Member @Jacques @Gazza75 @Dothemo @frog @Teej  and more - you've been on my mind. 

I hope the week hasn't been too much of a roller coaster for any of you and that those struggling at the moment will find peace soon.

I had psychiatrist and psychologist (which I felt really drained and exhausted afterwards) as well as playing a bit when I was up to it with the lotus mandala picture I've now finished.  Mixed media, most of which I'm just learning how to do - many layers with drying time in between.  Have been out walking with bro a few times. And cooked for the clan last night.  And the bl00dy housing department still wants more evidence - this time an Independent Living Skills Assessment.

Bro has asked me how I will know when I've done enough psychology therapy - a big question that I've been thinking about a lot.  I can think of  areas where I know I've had improvements in the last few years, but it's really hard to get clear about ultimate goals as I can't really see complex and chronic PTSD leaving me completely and also know that managing with bipolar 1 is a life-long thing.  Any ideas people have about answers to this question would be welcomed.

The new psychologist (my 2nd app't) seems good and like she'll be a fair fit.  She asks questions that go to the core of me.  It's very challenging having disclosure about my history and issues with someone new again.  Lots of big emotions, possibly made more intense by still having grief about my previous psychologist leaving so suddenly.  Talked about the 3 most traumatic events in my life (she asked for 1! and I couldn't reduce it to that) - including the s attempt that I survived when I was having ideation for months beforehand and ended up in a coma for 10 days.  She spoke of how even the ideation can create trauma in us - interesting. 

I can see the 5 Day Online Event! You Are Not Alone - Crisis Advice for Family, Friends & Carers  discussion has a lot in it but haven't felt up to contributing there because my experience is not of being the carer in that situation, and I have trouble finding the right helpful words for carers after the way it went down for me once I was in the acute mental health unit.  Big feelings happening around this offline even tho' it was 20 years ago.

So .... take care everyone.  Hope to see you all over the next couple of days, when I'm planning to be around more.

[MDT]

Nice to hear from you either way @eth
As always 🙂

[NatureLover]

Thanks for tagging me, @eth ! 

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@eth wrote:

I can see the 5 Day Online Event! You Are Not Alone - Crisis Advice for Family, Friends & Carers  discussion has a lot in it but haven't felt up to contributing there because my experience is not of being the carer in that situation, and I have trouble finding the right helpful words for carers after the way it went down for me once I was in the acute mental health unit.  Big feelings happening around this offline even tho' it was 20 years ago.

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I am not strictly a carer either, and lived experience is also welcomed on that thread (I've been posting mine). Even your new psychologist's idea that SI can create trauma is valuable and would be good for that thread. But I hear you that you have trauma around this, from your history... 😞 So no pressure.

I'm sorry that your Public Housing Application requires still more evidence! I remember my application went on seemingly for years...in reality it was months, but it felt endless and I almost gave up many times. Hopefully this will be the very last bit of paperwork you need for it to be submitted.