Lived Experience Forum

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hey Maz

Have an appt with son’s pdoc @Mazarita, but he was nasty to me last time I saw him ...... and I know it was not appropriate, which is hard to deal with ..... but part of our troubled circumstances. I am in a position where our “survival alliances” can be misconstrued as gaslighting ones ..... and with mr’s lack of insight into his own condition he is gaslighting me by default because he has no other logical explanation for my behaviour .....

Whew ..... take a breath ...... are you sorry you asked ? Lol ......

I will be back in a while. Glad you are catching up with your friend.

[Mazarita]

@Faith-and-Hope, not sorry I asked, just sorry that you are going through these difficult times. I'm guessing that the support people are seeking answers for the state of things by perhaps exploring possible dysfunction all round in the family. No excuse for being nasty to you though. Deep breaths, yes. Look forward to catching up later. 

@eth, I noticed your 'likes', that you are online about now. Feel like a little chat? 

[eth]

Hi @Mazarita  I'm glad to hear your mind has settled somewhat and you're feeling clear about talking with your GP.   Hoping your visit from your friend is productive for her and takes your mind off what happened yesterday for a while.

Home alone this morning just pottering on-line and reading a bit of my latest book.  Last night was a challenge as I bit the bullet and told my brother I'm still smoking a bit (tho' much less than I did).  I had been anxious about telling him all day with cyclic thoughts and anticipation of his response, but I knew I needed to be honest about it as he (again) mentioned my giving up to visitors the night before.  It felt ridiculous and was a source of high anxiety about being caught when I was being secretive about it - at my age!  I know I need to tackle it but haven't been strong enough to kick the last few.  At least he clarified that he'd been joking when he told a few people in front of me that I'd have to move out if I kept doing it.  He was very direct about all the reasons to stop and I could only agree with him.

Thinking of you today xx

[eth]

Hoping your appointment goes better than expected @Faith-and-Hope  

[Mazarita]

Hi @eth, feeling for you with the sense of sneaking 'out the back of the shelter sheds', like at school, to have a smoke. It sounds like you have really reduced to a large extent though. Give yourself credit there. By the way, it may amuse you to know that my 82 year old mum also lies to her brother (who is a semi-carer) about smoking. And she is still a chain smoker! She's misled him about the smoking for years, to avoid the nagging (they live at a distance). I think you are rocking it and will get to abstinence very soon. 

Sorry to cut this short but my friend just rang to say she is very close to here, so need to go again. Hope your day is kind and peaceful and rewarding. 

[Former-Member]

@Faith-and-Hope

Excuse me for interrupting ..

what does the term gas lighting mean?

mohill

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Former-Member ......

Easiest to post the dictionary meaning ......

gaslight

verb

manipulate (someone) by psychological means into doubting their own sanity.

[Former-Member]

Ah yes @Faith-and-Hope

@have lived with a narcissist 

[Former-Member]

Are you there @Mazarita

are you ok?

[Mazarita]

Hi @Former-Member. Yes, I'm here now and am more than okay. It's been a good day today. A bit overexcited at times with shallow breathing happening that I struggled to calm. But, it settled. And now I feel fine.

How are you going?