A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

[Emelia8]

Hello dear @WIP ... thanks for your post this morning. Your support is valued and appreciated.

I have an appt for Holly at the vet tomorrow to remove the sutures from her 2 wounds. I have been trying my best to stop her licking the one on her chest. I will ask the vet tomorrow if he thinks she needs something to prevent her licking once the stitches are out. But overall her wounds are looking good, and I think its time to remove the stitches. The seroma (fluid buildup) does not seem to have increased over the past couple of days, so thats good too. Hopefully it will slowly reduce from now on.

How is your little Levi?

Emelia 💞🐶😊

[Emelia8]

Thank you @Former-Member 👍💖🙏  I will check out the suggestions you linked.

I need something, as I'm not in good shape right now.  I had an appointment with my clinical psychologist tomorrow morning.  I got a phonecall just after I got home from seeing my oncologist.  The appointment has been cancelled!  My psych is unwell, and they dont know when she will be back, so I have no replacement appointment at all.  I have waited so long for this appointment because my previous one was 2 months ago, and that was cancelled the day before too. Now I have no idea when I will get in to see her again.  Its already about 10 weeks since I saw her.

I burst into tears and hung up on the receptionist who called me.  Heaven knows what she thought of me, probably thinks I'm horribly selfish.  I mean I'm sorry my psych is sick.  But its been so long since I saw her, and she cancelled last time too ... and I couldnt see her while I was away for the past month or so having radiation ... and I have this trauma anniversary coming up in less than 2 weeks .. normally I would be seeing her fortnightly at this time .... and I'm feeling horribly let down ... and I dont know what to do.  I've been in tears ever since I got the phone call.  I honestly dont know what to do.

Emelia 😢💔

[Anastasia]

Oh noooooo Em!!!!! I am so sorry 😭💔

Did she reschedule you????? Far out, I don't have words other than sending you love and hugs and more hugs. If you need a chat I'm here @Emelia8, call me ☎️

So so so so sorry beautiful.

I also worry about appointment as you haven't mentioned that? 

Love you more 😔💕

[Snowie]

@Emelia8 

So sorry to hear that your psycholgist cancelled on you. I know they cannot help being sick however we rely on them so much at times to just be able to get through. I would feel let down too hun.

I can totally understand the need to see a regular psych and not having one avaliable just makes things so much worse.

I wish I had answers for you hun. All I can do is be here for you sweetie and come and sit with you 💜💜

[Anastasia]

Sitting with you too @Emelia8 😭🤗💔

[Emelia8]

Thanks @Anastasia @Snowie.

Myboy ... oncologist apt went okay .. was there for 3/4 hour. She did a physical exam, said lymph nodes appear clear and no obvious breast lumps. Asked about the radiation side effects, and said to keep doing what I'm doing.

Wanted to know what side effects I was experiencing from the toxic little pills. I told her, to which she asked if I could put up with that for the next 5 years. I said NO.

Weighed me and was concerned I had lost a few kgs since I was there in December. Told her it was likely from not eating regular meals while travelling or staying away during radiation. Told me to keep an eye on my weight.

My blood pressure was high, like really high for me. She suggested I see my GP and perhaps BP meds may be needed.

I have been contemplating calling a help line, but the way I am I would not be able to utter a legible word. I would be wasting my time and the help line person's.

I really dont know what to do. I could try to see the social worker at the Oncolgogy Dept I suppose? She was quite good when I saw her back in December. She is a qualified psychologist. Or perhaps I could try to get in to see the psychologist located within my GP's practice. But I dont want to start with someone new. Least of all now!

But right now ... talking is out. I cant do it. I may try the Sane Chat later. I dont know. Nothing seems worth doing right now.

I'm going outside to talk to Mums meerkats, and take Holly for a wander.

Ems 😢💔

[Anastasia]

There with you in your pocket sweet @Emelia8 🙏💕

[Snowie]

Sitting with you hun @Emelia8 💕💕

[Jynx]

Hey @Emelia8, sorry to hear that you're struggling at the moment. I hope you're able to reach out to the Help Centre this evening. Also I know for a fact that even if you're struggling with talking, the counsellors in the HC are really good at holding space and helping folks to feel safe within the call. Sometimes it's just nice to have someone with you - even if all you can do on the phone is cry.

Sitting with you in the meantime 

[Anastasia]

That is so true @Jynx 

When I called I couldn't speak much but the call helped me a great deal @Emelia8 xxx