Lived Experience Forum

[DoinOk]

Hi<br><br>I am new to forums like this but after seeing an add on TV it seems a good idea to get involved. <br>I have suffered from BPD, PTSD, anxiety and depression most of my 52 years but it became worse after my divorce. The pressure of a large mortgage, fatherhood and a career became to much at the latter part of my marriage. This lead to inappropriate behavior outside my marriage causing it to end. I became really guilty for my behavior and not being a full time dad. I do have a great relationship with my daughter now which I really value. I would like to be in another relationship but I don't feel like I have much to offer to another person which is hard to take. <br>I tend to tell others who asks that I am okay alone but really I am so lonely at times that I tend to over drink to distract and numb myself. Part of me knows what I should be doing but it gets really hard. <br><br>Take care all

[Former-Member]

Hi @DoinOk, welcome to the forums. I am with you - fellow sufferers of BPD, PTSD, anxiety and depression & middle aged. I'm divorced too, very hard (stress scale put it up there with the loss of a loved one). Money also causes great stress and social pressure for men to provide for family. Inappropriate behavior is hard to forgive yourself for, but you must, and hopefully learn from it. Guilt gets us nowhere. So glad you've maintained a good connection with your daughter, good for both of you I guess and will help spur you on to rebuild a quality life and sense of inner peace. Its really dignified and insiteful to want a relationship where you give and not just take, especially when hurting. Keep growing but remember nobody's perfect. Maybe groups are a good way to meet people, make friends, you dont have to be alone all the time. Drink does numb the pain but it's temporary fix & habit forming and expensive. Maybe join Alcoholic Anonymous they have a great 12step program that has helped millions worldwide, builds up self worth, dignity and gives great practical coping tips. In the meantime, you've come to the forums, there's lots of support here. Not a lot of men but @TAB is a good egg, everyone has something to offer. Stay strong. Hugz xox

[TAB]

That's debatable @Former-Member 😜lol .. maybe just an egg .. haha

[DoinOk]

Thanks @TAWNY. I really appreciate your kind words. I do have a couple of good mates they live a fair distance which makes it hard. I will try and take your advice about groups.

Thanks again

[Former-Member]

Now @TAB and @DoinOk, let me introduce you to each other 😕 Now, Start talking, about anything. Get in before the rush comes and ya can't get a post in sideways with all the women here lol

[TAB]

Haha @Former-Member really not up to it today just lying on lounge trying to keep cool lol

[DoinOk]

@TAWNY & @TAB
Great to meet you both if only online.
If a little attention comes my way ha ha it will be nice to chat.

[TAB]

Hi @DoinOk @Former-Member as said am struggling a bit today so will pass thanks ..have a look at other threads and jump in somewhere @DoinOk

[NikNik]

Welcome @DoinOk 🙂

There are quite a few different discussions going around about relationships. One that pops to mind was started by @notmyrealname1 called 'Enforced non-dating' which I found really interesting.

I hope you find the Forums helpful and we keep seeing you around the place 🙂

Nik