Lived Experience Forum

[outlander]

Im not going anywhere @Appleblossom ❤

[Former-Member]

Hi @Appleblossom - I just noticed your thread pop up now. I haven't read too far back but could see you are distressed. I just wanted you to know I am here for you in any way that may help. I am not sure what happened but I care as you are always there for me and others. And you matter greatly to me. I think I read somewhere that you were accused of your son's issues. What a blow. Don't listen to that my friend. I know that your son means the world to you and there is nothing you would not do or sacrifice for him - the true essence of "a great mother". To heck what anyone else thinks - you know the truth and that is all that matters.

You have the most endearing qualities that gets better with age if anything - intelligence, humour, creative talent, a sense of justice, knowledge, fairness and a heart full of compassion. I greatly admire you and am hoping with all my heart that you find some reprieve this evening and wake to a new day where the sun will rise to greet and warm you. Sending hugs and care your way always xx ❤️

[Former-Member]

I hear you @Apleblossom Hugzz sista. Spring is round the corner, new life energyall around to draw on :). In the meantime, pace yourself, present moment as much as possible. And ta for your great post on my other thread, you have so much to offer here xox

[Appleblossom]

I think what I have to do is work methodically through the issues with the 2 older female psychologists who are starting to bat for me.  In complex family situations it really takes a long time to establish what a person's character is and "who" is enabling "who" in "what" behaviours.

This well qualified guy came down with that judgement in front of my son in almost a "get out of gaol free" comment.  He followed it with "I bet you have heard that before" to me. To which I nodded. Things were terse, but it was all about the counsellor and not even starting to relate to us.

 My son and I have not discussed it and the fellow did not make probation with the organisation so will not give us any more of his "questionable" sessions.

 I am carrying the parental burden, even past the age of majority.  There was also no discussion about circumstances and motivations, or even that much about what actually did occur.... Just a blanket statement to dump blame. Pick on mothers.  He had the education to know better, but could not be bothered to ask appropriate questions.

Thanks @outlander @Former-Member

I have blown off steam and my house is a little cleaner, but I also need to note them move away from those big feelings.

I see Frydenberg has given surprise splash of big money to the reef GBR charity pitting them against the CSIRO to draw attention away from Adani spill and other pressing policy problems.  The slashing of funds to the CSIRO was idiocy for our continent and scientists. 

My son phoned and needs a pick up in an hour.

Tomorrow I have a zoo session and a MH activism session...

Sorry I am in a grumble bum mood,  Head is searing with pain.  There is only so much that can be achieved by commitment.

[Former-Member]

@Appleblossom,
You have taught me so much on the forums. You never talk out of you b#m, you're a true thinker. I've always appreciated that about you and wish I Wad as smart as you. Your self awareness, honest openess, objectivity when needed, willingness to share and well written expressive compassionate posts. I value you here.

Really love what you said:
"Think I should reduce time online and on the forum and get my personal surroundings in order"
and
" I am going trying to manage this low gently, responsibly, but not alone. I have acknowledged my despair and anger, and will try and let them go"

Oh my goodness, I learn so much from you right there. The practical 'how to manage our own MH'

THANK YOU! (really need that today)

And elsewhere where you gave the tip to pick up this anxiety adrenalin in my life atm, run with it, use it to get this moving job done. Thank you. Today I put dad into care for the first time, yikes! His anxiety about it is high too - lots of reassurance.

Let's both light a candle for each other, a prayer we'll survive our differenty difficult rough patch.

Spring is coming, new buds already on the bushes here.

Gently Bently!
And get some sunshine 🙂

PS love the music umbrella above xox

[Faith-and-Hope]

❤️❤️ @Appleblossom @Former-Member ......

[Former-Member]

PEACE TO YOU

 Thinking of you @Appleblossom, @Faith-and-Hope

[Appleblossom]

Thank you @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope

and PEACE to both of you lovely women.

I am feeling better about being a woman with your friendship and others here.

My psychologist was concerned about me last week and told me to focus on self care for a while. We have passed the anniversary of my first giving of birth. 

Sunday.  It was peaceful.  No sight or sound from my daughter. 

Monday  I had a good counselling hour and half, with my son, where we were both setting parameters for what we hoped to gain from the sessions.

I mentioned that the former fellow had blamed me for my son's "predicament"  This fellow said all that stuff must be unpacked, but it was right for me to question it.  Generally he seems more tuned into having both people in the room heard and validated. 

So there is hope.

Still going gently.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Good to hear @Appleblossom .....

Hugs for your mother’s-heart .......

❤️

[Former-Member]

Small steps @Appleblossom, Feel for you re your daughter, its hard 😞
Glad counselling/er has improved. People say stupid things sometimes, even eggspirts grr.
You've done, and doing the best you can, in spite of great hardship. I'm so proud of your achievements. Most ppl have no idea the mountain's you've had to conquour... keep going sista xox