Lived Experience Forum

[Sammy16]

ive had quite a hectic day.... my head is pounding and im considering quitting school. i just fear falling into a pit of deppression if i do since it gives me a sense of purpose...... anyways thats me tonight. how are you

[Former-Member]

I can relate to that, @Sammy16. I’m really struggling with uni myself. I’m getting good grades, but I’m putting myself through hell to get them, and I wonder if it’s worth it. I’m thinking about deferring next semester, even though I’ll only have two subjects left to finish my degree (which has been an ongoing process since 2003). But one of the main reasons I’m at uni is because it stops me from isolating at home. It also gives me a sense of purpose and helps with my sense of self.

[Sammy16]

i can understand how your feeling. what do you study ？im nearly 30 and fresking out about money but for some reason i can handle going to.school.but working is out of reach for.me.right now. i dont know if thats a false thought or just how i feel. i feel.trapped working cause i hate spending my time in admin work which is wat i do and.not feeling like im passionate about it..... im.scared. of falling into that cycle of work work work n.no pasdion

[BambiFawn]

I'm well tonight. I'm a musician's daughter as I remarked before. I'm listening to Adam Lambert's ' For your Entertainment', No, I'm not gay lol. Just love music lol

[Former-Member]

I’m doing a Bachelor of Arts, majoring in Creative and Professional Writing (though the major has changed over the years). I’m 38. I’m not well enough to work. I’ve been unwell my whole life, but it’s gotten progressively worse over the years. In the past I’ve managed to ‘put on the mask’ and hold down full-time or part-time work (mostly in admin too), but after six months I end up in hospital. Right now I know I couldn’t manage working at all. I think part of the reason I can cope (sometimes) with study is because I know that if I crash and burn, it only affects me. If I’m working and suddenly I can’t work, then it affects other people. There’s that added pressure of having responsibilities. Because I can’t let myself let other people down, I push myself too far.

What are you studying, @Sammy16?

[Sammy16]

wow bookish... i can totally relate to what your saying workwise. theres so much expectation. crestive writting would be so.interesting ！im studying pathology collection. its only.a 3 month course and im one month in. the works not even thst hard i just dont care enough for.it hense i failed an assignment today and had to stop myself from bursting into tears. my teacher was lovely n said to email her if i had any problems at all. its a supportive environment i.just dont think id enjoy it as employment..... its so.much more complex than i thought. n i.just want to be doing something im passionate about........

[BambiFawn]

@Former-Member, writing is my favourite pastime too lol. Very cathartic I feel. Today, a thesaurus I ordered arrived and I've been reading through that. lol. I was enrolled at the University of Queensland and then at Griffith studying english Lit. and Australian and Comparative Studies....

[Former-Member]

I’m glad your teacher was kind, @Sammy16.

I am so grateful for my Disability Advisor at uni. I would never have survived at uni for the past few years without her. Just this week she helped me organise an alternate task to the final exam in one of my subjects. There’s no way I could manage an exam with my anxiety/panic as bad as it currently is. Most of my teachers have been fairly understanding, too.

I hope you can find a course or work that you are passionate about. I've done or started a few courses and realised later that I could never do that sort of work. The same with jobs ... started but then realised they weren't right for me. It's hard.

[Former-Member]

Words / writing / books are so great, @BambiFawn. My major up until just recently was English Literature.

Getting lost in a thesaurus sounds like something I would do. 

[Sammy16]

@Former-Member yeah it can be difficult. u get an idea in your head.... thinking itll work then reality hits n its like BAM not for me. ive enrolled to do an art therapy short course in october which is more me. but i just worry about the prospect of work.... id love to.do a diploma in art therapy but their all so expensive