Looking after ourselves
Hi all and moderators
I recognise that this is a strange request.
I'm having a lot of anxiety today and having trouble focusing due to my sick dog. We have had him at the vets 2 times and today will be a third with some sort of infection in his paw. I know sounds like nothing, its triggering for me as my last dog same time of year and almost excatly same age had the same issue which resulted in 6months antibiotics and then 3 months later he had lymphoma (could be pure coincidence which my "wise mind" keeps telling me and then died 3 months later at 5 yrs old.
I need to learn to work through this myself, this morning I was going to post at 8am and have held off till now ensuring I was in the right state of mind.
You dont need to reply all I ask is for me to have some accountability and if I post anything this week (end of Friday) I would like you to call me out! (however you like but nicely would be good 
)
I'm trying not to rely on others to get through and know I can do this myself but BPD mind is fighting the logical mind so I'm battling to keep myself from sliding. I know my boy will be ok but you know how the BPD mind likes making up horrible endings!
Hopefully I wont be here at all this week and will advise how I went next week.
Thanks I would really appreciate this.
Hi @BlueBay, @Decadian@Former-Member@Lunar@Former-Member@Shaz51
Andy everyone else.
Well I'm actually proud of myself, it turned out to be a horrible time. My boy (dog) has got the same thing a deep tissue infection so has started on antibiotics. The vet assured us there is no proven evidence between cancer and these antibiotics so I guess I need to realise I'm over reacting. But I did have a minor melt down when they told us this, I would say to myself this is ridiculous but the tears would stream down, I got very stressed and snappy and started to get the worst rage but I worked through it without taking the rage out on my partner or anyone. He did cop some of my stress though which then resulted in him going off at me. This time when he was not speaking to me and really shitty I just kept saying to myself as he had over reacted about something "its not my stress, its not my stress" almost like a meditation so I wouldnt take on his meltdown as well. It started off really bad and I was thinking he would ruin the last few months but in a day with me acting "sort of normal" not getting shitty at him and not pushing his buttons within a day things were back to normal which never happens - usually carries on for atleast a week!
So I know I can get through without the forums or anyone's help through a very very stressful situation with lots of triggers. I think whats effecting me the most is that my confidence in myself is starting to grow.
I hope everyone else is ok and going well!
@Change123 So great to hear you going from strength to strength in the hard times.
keep taking good care of you 💜🤗
Wow @Change123 
We will be here for you if you just want to have a chat my friend , soo keep in touch xx
keep taking good care of you 💜🤗
Thanks @Shaz51
I feel like I'm sort of seeing the "light" so to speak and being able to look at myself from another perspective now.
To be honest I would have never thought when I was in the depth of my darkness that I could get this far, now getting there and so far maintaining it makes me more persistent in ensuring I dont slide completely down that slippery slope. Liek I said I'm learning I cant avoid being triggered or upset etc as thats life but I'm learning to deal with it better and feeling stronger for it.
