So, I wanted to share with you my respite away from home that I'm hoping will unstuck the stuck me, and reset my neurological pathways to a different outlook. This place, in the burbs of Perth is a little haven of homeliness and gentle care. There's a small number of people here of various diagnoses, and we share rooms with same sex. So there's 2 other ladies in my room. It's a large home, and essentially you have to care for yourself. No one makes you do anything you don't want, but if you want to chat about life, your MI and get some perspective & guidance, there's nurses here 24/7. Obviously, you have to hand over your meds, and no drugs and alcohol are permitted.
The head nurse is a DBT Guru, something that
@CheerBear, @Pheonix_Rising &
@Zoe7 would love to have a natter with. He's very perceptive but gently proves and before i knew it, Id told him everything (well, a scaled down version). He said I was holding so much stress, more than most, and was surprised how 'normal' I presented. He recognised my recent high levels of anxiety, and how that was impacting my inability to feel comfortable with change.
I've been here since Friday afternoon. Saturday I had an anxiety meltdown, and thought it was nuts being here, and I was probably better to admit myself to hospital as I was very intent on doing major harm to myself. A phone call to my case manager set me right, plus a prn, and essentially riding out the storm. Sunday was a better day, where I walked to get a paper, stopped for a coffee, and also stopped at a greengrocer. Dinner was a communal affair on this night, and although conversation was minimal, it was nice to be among others. I haven't made any buddies here, as I've essentially kept to myself. But I took a walk yesterday with a patient & nurse, and I repeated the walk on my own today.
So I've agreed to be here until next Monday, as going home on the weekend could bring me undone. It's the time I feel most lonely and despair, and when my impulses to SH are highest. Every day I will do a little work with one of the nurses on DBT stuff especially interpersonal skills and distress tolerance skills.
The really great thing is I can come back here anytime things get unbearable & hospital isn't a option. And I can call the nurses if I'm distressed or in crisis as they know my history. It's good to have another support option. There is only two places like this in Perth. It's a shame there's not more.
I'll back with an update tommorrow.
@outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member
