Lived Experience Forum

[Teej]

Will reply with possible thesis when I get home @CheerBear. Busy afternoon. 

[Teej]

@CheerBear

Hiya bear of small cheer, the one who did amazing scary, messy and very brave things and changed the world a little bit for herself and others (without needing buckets of money but huge amounts of courage), who has had the messy feelings but understandably so, yes you 😘

you did good 👍🏻 

im so glad you didn’t write 'I’m fine' and honoured that you shared. 

You do realise every time you do a scary thing and write about it my courage goes up a notch too. 😊

i hope you get some rest tonight and an easy day tomorrow. 

I am very very very confused about tomorrow. I do have the appointment but have had lots and lots of second guessing as to whether this might work or not and all the what if’s. I’d hate to not be able to have a therapeutic relationship with her and have it turn out like my old psychiatrists. One of them got me so mad I wanted to throw a chair at him. It takes A LOT to get me that worked up to want to hurt someone. Another one had me considering take a running jump and jump through the glass window in the office on a multi story building. I had some great therapeutic relationships NOT with early psychiatrists. 

Im taking a leaf from you and am going to try to just go and take it as it comes lol, should have had a look in my brain earlier today with the massive catastrophising about it. 

I also did a brave (ok not really brave) but a little bit for me and contacted the volunteering organisation and apologised for running away 6 months ago and that I hoped to be ok at some stage to come back. Got a reply back from the volunteer coordinator of the program which was supportive but yet to hear from the centre manager (who runs the programs 😬). 

Well managed a chapter in a novel.

not sure if you are still seeing your friend. If so I hope it’s going well 💜🤗

[CheerBear]

You made me laugh cry @Teej, thankyou ❤

You sound like you're doing OK-ish for the night before a scary confusing thing, though I get that sounding and being can maybe be a little different. I really like the see 'how you go' attitude. This time tomorrow you'll have a clear answer (hopefully!) and you'll be able to take it from there. I can relate to both the chair and the window 😖 and really hoping those feelings don't happen for you. I wonder whether it might be different to work with her as an ongoing client rather than it was to work with her through the assessment process, if you do. It definitely sounds like if you were to work with her she would be feeling pretty confident it could work well for you given what you would have been through to get to there. Everything crossed for the best outcome for you. And huge yay and go you with contacting the centre! From a fellow avoider, I get that's a biggie 🙂

You know hearing from you tonight (on the night before tomorrow) makes me think how every time you find your 'can' when you've felt so 'can't', it helps remind me 'can'ts' can and do turn into 'cans' ❤

I should be working on a mental health traffic light thing tonight which is a bit ugh. I've had weeks to do it and I haven't and my psych will want it tomorrow. I've written notes over the last few weeks but now they need organising and I don't want to tonight. My bad for not doing it sooner. I may do the teary blanket cat cuddling thing, rely on the fact I wake up when the time starts with an F every morning, and give it a go tomorrow instead.

Friend is still around but the honeymoon is definitely over. You know that reaction most people would give to hearing two people met while staying in a mental health facility? I think we can both now see why. He still smells nice though, most of the time (when I'm not being all moody or banana headed and he isn't being Mr I Can Fix You - that one does not go down well) 😉 I think we communicate well and we share lots of laughs, and that helps a lot.

Thanks for being you Teej 😊

[Teej]

I got a smirk out of your post @CheerBear

Firstly im thinking as long as he smells good he’s a keeper (for someone that you met there that’s a huge plus, just know I’m including me in there 😳). Hopefully you’ll sort it out as long as the time you spend together has more good than bad 😊. 

I also smirked at the time tomorrow morning. It took way too long for me to get that. It’s been a long day of blonde moments :face_with_rolling_eyes:. It’s sucks when you have yucky homework to finish and you just want to not worry about it cos you put on your big girl pants this week already (well that’s me, one big yucky thing per week is enough).

my mood is much better this afternoon. I dropped in to wish my parents well on their holiday of their dreams to celebrate their 55th wedding anniversary. Then saw my therapist which was ok. Had a very honest conversation with her..... honest from both of us. 

Thanks for your garden cheer. I was very jealous. My trees are a long way from budding. I need to get my act together and get my garden back again from the weeds 😬😖. I planted a heap of herb and veggie seeds 4 days ago and the pak choy and lettuce have already sprouted 😊.

heres hoping tomorrow is ok for both of us. 💜🤗

[CheerBear]

Oooh seeds are fun @Teej! I de-nettled the vegetable garden (patch of dirt) a couple of weeks ago ready for trying again in spring. It's a soul feels good one when I can do it also. Short term goal 😊

I'm glad you've had a better mood afternoon.

Here with you tomorrow, with lots of others who care. You got this ❤

(💗 for you @Faith-and-Hope who I can see is around also)

😴

[Faith-and-Hope]

💜💐 @CheerBear @Teej .....

[Teej]

Have you had your appointment @CheerBear? 

Ive had mine and have so so so many conflicting emotions. I am no closer to an answer. 

[CheerBear]

Yeah I have @Teej. Oh far out 😑 Are you OK?

[Teej]

I’m holding my own for now @CheerBear. How did yours go? 

[Teej]

Ok @CheerBear I need to spill 😬. She said the odds were stacks against this therapy working for us and that my history of not being successful at therapies plus me not having a routine were the biggest challenges. She reiterated that a few times that the agreement was that I wasn’t a great candidate for it but then lay down a list of conditions that I have to agree to before we consider therapy. There are a few that I’m not sure I can do, in that I just don’t know. I don’t know if I agree to them what happens next. I think she can still choose that it’s not going to work. She brings out really strong emotions but so many conflicting ones at once I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. But I have no clue how I’m meant to read this. It all seems so conflicting.