Lived Experience Forum

[LFS]

Hi I suffer a fair bit from a couple mental illnesses. Alot of people judge me as different, when the only reason I am is because of my mental illnesses, and I try as hard as I can to be normal. Alot of these people know I have a mental illness, but fail to take it seriously or realiase how it affects me. Because of all this it affects my friendships, my ability to work properly, and people think I'm good looking, but I can't get a girlfriend because people label me as different and I'm 27.

Anyone with ideas to help with this would be very much appreciated?.

[Glorianna]

Hello good looking, first of all @LFS I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. Do your colleagues discriminate against you in the workplace or is it social situations with which you prodominately struggle? It can be difficult to explain to people how you would like them to react to your responses which are MI related. Some people may not remember what your MI consists of and may not care. People are not obliged to like you or dislike you based on your looks but if you feel threatened your body language is likely to show that to some extent. So, outwardly smile, maintain appropriate (brief unless you are being spoken to directly), eye contact, and relax your body but maintain good posture. Arms either beside you or resting on a desk as if you are holding a phone.

Inwardly, tell yourself your good traits, work towards your goals, and keep trying.

Best of luck,
Glorianna

[utopia]

@LFS
Stigma and ignorance I think are the worst when it comes to the general community.
My friends and family know all about my MI. They know what I need or don't need during a panic attack. They are generally accepting of the fact that I cannot always make plans in advance - and if I do, that I may need to cancel them.
I don't hide my MI from my small town community. If asked I'm happy to educate others about my MI, etc.
but there are people that don't wwant to know. Those who have preconceived ideas and those who are just scared. If they don't want to be educated, I don't waste my time on them.
The best advice I can give you is to just be yourself. There will be a girl who loves your personality. There will be friends who enjoy your company.
Do the things that interest you and you will find likeminded friends within that group.

[Lunar]

Hello @LFS

That sounds terribly difficult, feeling like you are being judged as different and you feel that is because of your mental illnesses. It seems like you are in particularly struggling with also not being understood in terms of how it affects you as people do not take it seriously, I am sorry you have gone through that.

When you say it affects your ability to work and friendships, what aspects do you find challenging, is your confidence or ability to communicate, it sounds like you have tried being normal, what do you think is normal?

I think like @utopia said that just being yourself and finding ways to accept yourself will be helpful in attracting people that like you for you and not this 'normal' person you are trying to portray, people are drawn to genuineness and confidence, so it can be really about feeling good in yourself most of the time?

Lunar 🙂

[Former-Member]

hello @LFS and all

Having symptoms of mental illness, whatever the diagnosis, labels are hard work for us.

we try so hard not to stand out.

We dont actually stand out, we just think that we do because we are self-conscious about how we come across to others.

Others are actually too busy worrying about their own inadequacies, shortcomings in their minds to even think about us.

so forget labels, boxes, fitting in.

One important thing:  we are unique individuals, no different to somebody who does not have symptoms of mental illness. we are not the illness, we are ourselves. therefore we must respect ourselves - start practising now at age of 27 if you do not already have this sorted. very important.

be true to yourself, honour your values and live in the now. smile and hold your head up high, shoulders back. yes you will stand out then. you will be noticed. you will be like a magnet for likeminded, self-respecting people.

remember also, something that I struggled with. not everyone has to like you. you are more than likely not a sheep, so different in that way, as am i. this is a good thing. you avoid the shallow, false, gossiping, backstabbing crowd.

good luck on your journey

keep posting if i havent frightened you away with my depth

[Former-Member]

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[Former-Member]

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