Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Dear All,

I thought about how to name this thread, how to share what I want to do. It's pretty easy, I want to change "something". I want to become a little better each day or at least keep heading in the right direction and I want to keep a log on here of what I think I did well for my wellbeing 🙂

Day 1: Signed up for the gym. Meditated 10min. Worked. Cooked a healthy dinner and packed brekkie & lunch. Slept 8hrs. Talked to my best friend and watched TV with my husband. Picked up book 8 keys to safe trauma recovery.

I'm not going to set a schedule or plan too far ahead. Life happens. I just want to embrace life and recognise the little changes I make.

I understand that I am responsible for myself. At least today 😉Tomorrow I might need a reminder 😊

What will you try tomorrow?

[utopia]

@Former-Member ♥♥
Great thread.
Tomorrow I will do my breathing exercise for 10 minutes. I will confirm with the Credit Union to stop my mortgage repayments for 2 months (am in advance). I will window shop in town and talk to some locals that I haven't chatted with for a while. I will do my breathing exercise for 10 minutes before I go to bed.

[Former-Member]

Good morning everyone 🌼

@utopia That sounds like a great plan! It's good you have some freedom on the mortgage payments, well done. What kind of breathing exercises do you do? Have you lived in the town where you are for a long time? Enjoy your day!

I've been fighting in my dreams all night and am up way too early... I need to tell myself that I used to thrive on little sleep whether it was good or not.

I love sitting in the morning and listen to the crickets (or whatever is making the noises) and drink my cuppa. I can do that for hours, but I won't, as I want do some gentle yoga postures to stretch for 10min and mediate for 10min. And I want go to the gym for the first time in ages. I'm not scared to go to the gym, I used to go there before, but I feel like I have to "confront" that previous me, the one that no one could keep up with as I was bursting with energy all day & night - I would have been in the gym by now - the one that seemed invincible. Until I changed. Is complex PTSD an illness or do the coping mechanisms throughout your life just change? I changed and I am still changing and in a lot of ways I changed to a calmer "me" and to a gentler "me" that I remember from before. For many years i have said i felt out of sync with myself. I think all the hyper activity just took its toll eventually.

I could think about that forever, but I want to begin to change, so I'll get my yoga mat out now 😉

Have a great day everyone 🌼

[Lunar]

This is really great @Former-Member 🙂

I am trying to do this too for myself at the moment, it seems like you are really trying to implement some positive things one day at a time, well done.

Today I have work all day and then have to go to uni straight after for 3 hours but I am going to eat something healthy for lunch and dinner one I get home late, and then allow myself to watch something fun on television for an hour with a cup of tea and go to bed early so I don't get too tired.

❤️

[utopia]

@Former-Member. I've lived in this small town for 5 & 1/2 years. It's a great town. Yes I'm very lucky to be in front with the mortgage. It will help now that I'm struggling with other bills.
Yes you have now seen my Breathing Exercise thread. I did my morning exercise. I'll get ready and go into town after lunch.
I have found that I am very different in certain ways after my PTSD diagnosis. I don't think there was change until I started working with my psychologist and started using coping techniques. As I've slowly felt better - I have discovered that I enjoy the quiet more. That I can sit for a long time and enjoy the sounds of nature. Rushing around frustrates me now. I don't know how I used to manage everything I used to fit into a day. Now I pace myself more. I'm more aware of stresses on my body and mind.
I guess having gone through a very tough period after my workplace injury - I now have different priorities. And that is good.
You know the expression "slow down and smell the roses" - well I finally understand what that means.

[Former-Member]

Hello 😊

@Lunar that sounds like a very busy day! How often do you have uni? What do you watch as fun TV?

@utopia, how was your day? Did you manage to catch up with people in the town? I understand what you mean about "smelling the roses". I sometimes think I did everything so efficient and well planned, that I turned my sense organs off - or perhaps I didn't like what they were telling me. I was just numb.

Day 2: I am tired. But I'll keep counting happy moments. I did 10min yoga this morning, followed by 10min meditation (Headspace, Take 10) and then 30min light cardio at the gym (yay I made it!!!). Met someone there who hadn't seen me in ages. I went for a tiny walk at lunch time in the industrial area where I work. Sat and watched the birds in the garden for a little while when I got home. And I think I will start on my new painting tonight. I love painting - I never painted before my first hospital stay (apart from when in school).

I hope you all had a good day and will find something pleasant to do tonight x

[Former-Member]

No painting 🙁 feeling miserable.

So I am back on the double bladed sword - wanting to sleep with the hope that I wake up in a different mood vs not wanting to sleep & dream 😱

Good night all x

[Former-Member]

Good morning,

The night has made no positive difference to my mood. I tried to meditate 10min, but my head was all over the place 😢 not a good morning for me. So much doubt and insecurity.

[Lunar]

Good morning @Former-Member, that must feel horrible your head feeling like that, it's good you atleast tried to meditate, what are your plans for the day? Can you eat a yummy breakfast or something to help you get some energy for the day?

I am very busy of late, working full time and doing my masters in the evenings part time, but I really enjoy it and it gives me some focus, although I do very much love the holiday period when I get my weekends and night times back 🙂

Just try to focus on some more practical things for the day so you can get out of those doubt and insecure thoughts, that helps me although I have to keep reminding myself of what needs to be done, do you write to do lists? Maybe you could write one for today?

Thinking of you ❤️

[utopia]

@Former-Member. Sorry I fell asleep at 5.30 yesterday afternoon and woke up this morning almost 14 hours later.
Yes I have 2 months of no mortgage payments. That's a huge weight off.
I met two new people in town and had some good chats. Had a chat with another lady & we talked about the memorial plaque that is going onto a bench seat in town - in honour of my 'other mum' & good friend, who passed away last year. So it was a nice day.
Today however, im struggling like you. My mood is flat. My negative self talk is high.
So, after having to go and have a 9am appointment with my Workcover back to work service provider, I'm back home and ready to go back to sleep.
I hope your mood lifts today. Be gentle with yourself. Do one thing that you enjoy. Even a bath or listening to your favorite music. Something simple. ♥♥