Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

If anyone has any Christmas strategies to cope (from living alone to catering for a large family to playing Santa for children), please list them here. This is mine:

Chrissy Alone:
For Christmas, nows the time to list some self care strategies:
- decide if you want to 'boycott' Christmas altogether, just do the basics or try go all out. (I try to boycott but end up in the middle).
- basics first - shelter, food and clothing
- second basics - mind (calmingvthoughts), heart (self compassion), social (reach out twice a week, mix or ring - once for you, once for them), spirit - pray, connect with God or nature.
- grab some frozen nutritious meals so you eat well. Better still, cook some.
list people you can ring for a chat and make a call once a day - even just to briefly exchange the weather (always amazes me how much better I can feel without getting too deep)
- ask someone to meet up for a drink once a week. If no takers, sit in a mall cafe and observe how many people walking by actually do wear or carry Christmas stuff and look happy (we're not alone, just no obvious connection)
- stock up on your fav munchies and DVDs. and hobby stuff to do.
- put a gift for a child under a Christmas charity tree so you know you've done something to contribute to the world

[Change123]

my strategies:

boycott it! 

but really we dont do xmas as we have no kids

1. Dont get involved in the xmas madness
2. Dont go and visit everybody on that day just stay home and do whatever I want (sometimes I have cleaned all day - just treat like another day)
3. Dont do presents its just an expectation and adds to much financial stress for everyone (bake something instead if you need to take a present)
4. Get all my food and other shopping done before the last week of xmas so i dont have to venture out amongst it all
5. I have time off due to work closing during that period so I do lots in the garden and around the home (connect with nature)
6. Have lots of BBQ's just even me and my partner 
7. By a xmas treat for ourselves (xmas pudding or something as a kind treat)
8. Do lots of good cooking as I enjoy that and it relaxes me
9. Get lots of sunshine (vit D) always helps moods

Like I said we dont get involved at all we treat it like another day, no decorations, no trees etc etc for us this works but others may enjoy the xmas thing we dont. 

[Former-Member]

@Change123, sounds 'real' Good you have each other. Great tip on shopping early, forgot about that Hassel. They even have long life brandy custard now to stock up on to have with pudding etc might grab a Baileys bottle too. Gift to self hohoho!
Thanks xox

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member and @Change123  

My suggestions are:

Try not to feel guilty if you feel you can't spend it with family.  I used to spend it with family, out of guilt, but finally realized that I don't have to.  It is too hard for me and that's ok.  If family causes more upset, then I suggest, stay away.

To help it not feel so lonely I am going to try and think of something else to do.   Either find another family that are alone and spend it with them or perhaps I might phone Salvation Army or a similar place, to see if they are having Christmas lunch for the needy and homeless.  I think it would be lovely to help out with serving the meals or something like that.  

Buy presents early, try to get things on special.  I try to buy something that is nice, but usefull, just something to wrap.

Keep food nice but simple.  Cold ham, ready cooked chicken, salads etc...............  Pick up party foods now, while on special and store somewhere.  (I can't buy goodies early, because I eat them, hehe!).

When feeling anxious remember to breath deep and do some mindfulness, relax and take time out when needed.

Cry if you need to, I get very emotional at Christmas, before and after.  It's ok to cry, crying is healing.

Do something nice to someone who is alone or someone who is struggling financially.  Say nice words to each other, encourage others, even strangers.  There are alot of lonely people around.

Give small presents to people who are alone or struggling.

Share a meal with others who need it.

And remember to be kind to yourself as well.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[Change123]

@Former-Member sounds great especially the baileys!  I actually make home made baileys it soooooooo easy.

1 bottle of irish whiskey or what ever

1 can condense milk

Melted white choc (optional and use however much - I use approx 100g or milk or dark or combo)

add coffee if desired - sometimes nice to add egg yok instead and while choc its like an egg advacat

1 cup cream (I use a long life cream so the baileys itself doesnt go off quick - not that it lasts!

Mix - yumo!

@Former-Member 

You are so right about the guilt thing, when I stopped doing the xmas thing my family freaked but they are the cause of most of my dramas so I dont have anything to do with them anymore at all so no more guilt for me!

I commned you on doing something for others and hope you have a lovely time doing it! 

[Former-Member]

Let's see if I feel up to it though, hehe!  @Change123

Sounds like a good idea, but I have good ideas, but unfortunately not the energy. (re: serving meals etc, I mean).  Have never looked into that before, but sounds good.  Let's see. 

Have to check with daughter and hubby too.  Oh to feel motivated, have energy and all the rest, life would be easier.  

Chat again soon, I have to go and do some things.  xoxo

[Former-Member]

Thanks for the Bailey's recipe @Former-Member, looks / sounds easy'ish.
@Former-Member, I have same prob with hidden treats :o. As for charity luncheons / soup kitchens, I have tried many of times only had o be told "we have enough volunteers this year thank you" or "the homeless don't like new faces" or "well take your F tails and get back to you if something comes up" Then after getting my abandonment issues out the way, I remind myself I was wanting it for me not them anyway (or something to that effect). Guess nows the time to start looking in the paper for volunteer callouts.

[Former-Member]

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
My neighbour has covered their front yard with Christmas lights, just everywhere. I still don't want to bother much. Tempted to put up lights saying one word "DITTO" - underlined by an arrow pointing to my neighbours house lol

[Former-Member]

Saw another idea for street view Christmas lights, one word ' M E H '

@BlueBay, @mahill, check out these posts.

Hey @Cjange123, do you have a good fav recipe for rum balls? So expensive in the shop.

[Former-Member]

OK, I finally bit the bullet & did my
CHRISTMAS CARDS
√ selected a card fitting (gold nativity scene on purple background for my girl)
√ found current address book 😮
√ did envelopes first, then cards
? debating if to do a brief newsletter, now that's a whole new process, and then do u 'lie' and use the little 'card only' stamp even when I've included letter, oh
- buy stamps (getting less each year)
- actually mail them (before losing) lol

OK, maybe I haven't quite 'done' my Chrissy cards

Y E T

lol