Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

[Smc]

@Former-Member, she'd enjoy doing that, but don't think she'll have the time. We'll see if we can grab one elsewhere tomorrow.

[Owlunar]

@Shaz51

That must be so hard when Mr Shaz keeps things to himself and it does come across as controlling when he wants to do this or that, go home and go to bed NOW - but if he is being silent about what he is feeling and what is on his mind it does show a different light and bring up different ideas 

And this must be really tough - a whole lot is going on in his mind and he feels (most likely) he has little control over things and he can control going home and going to bed and this helps me to understand why he does that

My ex-h didn't talk about his feelings at all and I had no idea - no patience - no insight - into the truth that he might have been depressed and/or had sleep apnoea - I know so much more than I did such a long time ago when I was married to him. I talked all the time and asked for a divorced several times and got not feedback into what I was feeling and the idea of divorce was so far from his thoughts

Short story though - when you write about the uncertainty of your husband's anxiety and I remember you wrote in the past about how much had been taken from him and how much he had lost it all makes sense. It seems as if that was the sticking-point in his life and now he is afraid - I think you wrote this - that he is afraid of losing the little he had

It's tough for him Shaz - but really tough for you too - you don't know what he is thinking and this has to be - well - I know it is - a really tough strain on your life together

Thinking of you Shaz

Dec

[Determined]

[Determined]

I have been recently feeling bad about getting down about all that is going on in our life when there are so many people with so much more on. (by my perception). This morning I came across this ☝️☝️☝️ and have found it oddly encouraging so wanted to share in the hope that it may encourage others in the same way. 

[Shaz51]

Hello @Determined, @Owlunar, @Smc, @outlander, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope, @Adge, @Appleblossom, @PeppiPatty

Hope your day is going ok xx

had a little sleepin this morning before setting up for my uncle`s 70th birthday morning tea , my mr shaz was wonderful ( he did ask me who was coming first), I told him and you could see his whole body relax

I know he does not like big parties or big crowds or strangers

If I am in control and calm  he is ok

we had a good morning , there were 14 of us for morning tea and then some left and there 9 left for lunch , mum and her siblings and their partners and us

then mum got tired and everyone went back home

we cleaned up , and went home

relaxing in front of tv and computer , mr shaz finding all his dragonflies photos

the 4 step children have rang up their dad xxxx

[outlander]

That sounds loveley @Shaz51 and wonderful that all 4 kids gave Mr shaz a ring too

[Former-Member]

That sounds lovely @Shaz51. So good to hear everyone enjoyed themselves.  🎉🎁🎂🎈

Oh gosh, really? Just read your reply on my thread where its a balmy 30C where you are. Too hot when we're we are only 2 days out of winter. 

Sherry  🌺

[Former-Member]

So pleased to hear that birthday went well Shazzle Dazzle.  Yes, when we are calm and collected it can make a difference (but at times feels so unfair). 

Love dragonflies and related damselflies @Shaz51 .

[Adge]

Hi @Shaz51@Former-Member

Yes, having to keep our head on (calm & reasonable) - when all those around us are losing theirs, is extremely difficult.

I think you both deserve a medal or "Brownie points" (& so do I perhaps).

I love Dragonflies & Damselflies too - I would love them even more, if they looked like your pictures Darcy.

Adge

[Shaz51]

Hello @Determined, @Dec, @Smc, @outlander, @Darcy, @Sherry, @lapses, @Faith-and-Hope, @Adge, @Appleblossom, @PeppiPatty, @Maryjune, @Sophia1

mr shaz has a appt on wednesday -- fringers crossed that he talks about what is worrying him and want to improve his life

hoping he can get answers he wants about his MI or like he tells me he could end up bac in hospital , so see what happens on wednesday