12-02-2020 03:47 PM
12-02-2020 03:47 PM
I have only one dear friend left and she is bi polar so at times I have double the trouble. My hubby just won't allow anyone to remain my friend. His hyper vigilance over my phone messages from my son or the dental reminder or the post office are all treated with suspicion. Level 10 on the Richter scale.
I'm a friendly person and somehow also have people in public say hello and have little chats being a local in a country town but I can never ever invite them for a cuppa or join an art group or even have a regular coffe at a coffee shop as that would mean I might make a friend. I tried for many yrs but I can't be done. Paranoia has stolen that part of my life from me. I have to be sneaky to even try and that's no good. God forbid we need a tradesman from time to time. It's an exercise in espionage just to arrange a plumber. It's been getting steadily worse lately. I hide my iPad if I go out Incase I get an email from this forum. Just Incase he works out my password when I'm at Coles. Friends cannot be done for me just flyby night hellos. I have been missing that lately.
12-02-2020 03:57 PM
12-02-2020 03:57 PM
I am the youngest of 4 and the only girl. This has played a huge role in my life as I was a very shy quiet child with 3 noisy burly brothers. Mum never had friends my brothers never had friendships but I had a few good long friendships that have now become unrecoverable. We are both retired and having no focus in his life anymore has made his MI longer and deeper. I'm staring to learn to survive I must drift away a bit for my own mental health. Not leave just create a short time for myself down the street on my mobility scooter in the park with the dog or take my water colours. He used to enjoy coming with us but no longer. Agoraphobia is too strong.
12-02-2020 04:18 PM
12-02-2020 04:18 PM
Same. I just can't seem to pick up anything of interest these days. I'm too flat just tying to keep hubby afloat. Might go swimming.
13-02-2020 12:19 PM
13-02-2020 12:19 PM
@CarlachrisI do hope you went swimming and its great you enjoy your scooter and dog. As we get on and have health issues it is so much harder to keep socially engaged, let alone dealing with controlling partners or family.
Take Care of YOU
@Former-MemberIts a great post again. Thought provoking. Gives me lots to reflect and work on. I haven't given up, tho at times I felt like it.
I will tag it as favourite.
13-02-2020 04:06 PM
13-02-2020 04:06 PM
Thanks @Former-Member . I am interested in this. I think it's a very helpful way to look at wellness. Candles, flowers, fairy lights and lots of exercise are some of the ways I try to be as well as I can. Cheers!
13-02-2020 04:23 PM
13-02-2020 04:23 PM
Aww thank you @Scoo
What you said is very true and as Mr shaz and I are self employed, we are always together
We find our families are very important to us at the moment with both our mums elderly and frail
Hello @Kasey13 , @Former-Member , @Appleblossom , @Carlachris
I believe it is the small things that keeps us going like SANE forum, Facebook, texting , ringing
13-02-2020 09:36 PM
13-02-2020 09:36 PM
@Former-Member @Shaz51 @Kasey13 @Appleblossom @Carlachris Darcy again a wonderful consolidated set of insights about social wellness - so many thoughts 💭 thoughts 💭 thoughts 💭...
Mainly I am resonating with two points on this topic
1. Lately I've been making a concerted effort to connect to friends who I have been neglecting - I don't want to only have friends who MsS is comfortable with - which is only really one of our friends - this makes me think if things went south in that friendship there is just too much reliance on it if there are not other friends in our circle ... so I am consciously attempting to build and strengthen other friend connections who have been in the secondary circle of time and attention in recent years comparatively .. this is making me feel more balanced and also encouraging MsS to test out her social skills she is learning in her day programs
2. BELONG BELONG BELONG ... such a strong word and so deeply connected to social wellness .. I once asked MsS what she wanted most in life and her answer was to feel like she belonged ... even saying the word evokes comfort ... so I am going to challenge myself to help others feel like they belong and are safe and valued in my presence ... belonging is so incredibly important to who we are as human beings - so interlinked with survival I think we can't help but crave it
that's us all - and Thankyou all for making me feel like this forum is a place we can all BELONG as fellow social creatures needing the comfort of each other as we travel and share our thoughts 💭
17-02-2020 11:44 PM
17-02-2020 11:44 PM
I am aware that some of these topics can be very emotive and there are a lot of complexities involved and I did feel that any response on the topic of social wellness that I could offer would be far from adequate. Spiritual wellness can also evoke strong emotions, can I gently encourage each of us to seek therapeutic support should we need it @Carlachris @FindingStrength @Shaz51 @Jay-e @Scoo @Appleblossom @Boo13 @Sophie1 @Carer101 @Kasey13
The last dimension that we come to is Spiritual wellness
Spiritual wellness is being connected to something greater than yourself and having a set of values, principles, morals and beliefs that provide a sense of purpose and meaning to life, then using those principles to guide your actions.
To my mind, core values, culture and faith underpin our spiritual wellness and these often give us hope, vision and purpose.
Research findings on the benefits of the strength of Spirituality found Spirituality, through the expression of religiousness or sense of meaning, provides a sense of being grounded, increases optimism, and helps provide a sense of purpose for life. These in turn contribute to an overall sense of well-being. Youth who describe themselves as spiritual show better self-regulation and academic performance and tend to see the world as a more coherent place. Spirituality has also been linked with many character strengths, including humility, forgiveness, gratitude, kindness, hope, love, and zest.
There seems to be a strong link with character development, spirituality having been described as the ‘forgotten key to character development”, a “foundational facet of character” and being “character development when viewed through the heart”.
Spirituality was traditionally associated with religion, however modern usages tend to refer to a subjective experience of a sacred dimension and the "deepest values and meanings by which people live", often in a context separate from organized religious institutions and I found this explanation to be most helpful:
One way to understand the relationship between spirituality and religion is to imagine a game of football. The rules, referees, other players and the field markings help guide you as you play the game in a similar way that religion might guide you to find your spirituality.
Kicking the ball around a park, without having to play on the field or with all the rules and regulations, can also give you fulfilment and fun and still expresses the essence of the game, similar to spirituality in life.
You may identify as being any combination of religious and spiritual, but being religious doesn’t automatically make you spiritual, or vice versa.
I think however, it would be remiss not to point out that whilst religion and spirituality can have a positive impact on mental health and that whilst both religion and spirituality can help a person tolerate stress by generating peace, purpose and forgiveness, benefits generally vary between the two due to their different nature.
Mental Health Benefits of Religion
Religion gives people something to believe in, provides a sense of structure and typically offers a group of people to connect with over similar beliefs. These facets can have a large positive impact on mental health—research suggests that religiosity reduces suicide rates, alcoholism and drug use, its benefits include:
Community: Initiates social connections with other members, creates a sense of belonging to a group, offers trustworthy and safe social engagement
Ritual: Helps people to cope with difficult life situations (i.e. a ceremony for the loss of a loved one), provides structure, regularity and predictability, allows for time to rest as well as holidays and other special times of the year
Teachings: Provides guidelines to live by (i.e. the importance of doing the right thing), teaches compassion, forgiveness and gratitude, identifies life lessons, even from challenging situations.
Mental Health Benefits of Spirituality
Spirituality is a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves—it helps a person look within and understand themselves while also figuring out the greater answer of how they fit in to the rest of the world. In other words: It helps people understand their interpretation of the meaning of life.
Spirituality also incorporates healthy practices for the mind and body, which positively influences mental health and emotional wellbeing. Here are some of those benefits:
Individuality: Enhances a person’s sense of self and empowerment through the choice to decide what their practice looks like, focuses on an individual’s connection to what they believe in and their own personal growth, accepts any person, whether they are part of a religion or not
Mindfulness: Encourages meditation and self-reflection, leads to a meaningful life philosophy (i.e. feeling connected to others, nature or art), prompts expression in any form such as art, poetry, myth or religious practice
Unity with Surroundings: Renews a sense of belonging in the world, inspires appreciation and awareness of a person’s interaction with the physical environment
(These mental health benefits are not limited to their respective categories—individuality isn’t exclusive to religion, just like spirituality can include a sense of community in some instances. The takeaway is that: If presented in a supportive way, religion and spirituality can help people improve their mental health and promote recovery.)
Some of the statements used to assess spiritual wellness include:
Practice Spiritual Wellness
When striving to develop and practice your own spiritual wellness, it is best to find the technique and approach that works for you; similar to the other dimensions of wellness, there is no “one size fits all” approach.
Your journey to spiritual wellness may involve the following:
Spiritual wellness has the power and capability to make our decisions and choices easier, ground us during periods of change and give us the resiliency to survive with grace and inner peace in the face of adversity. Having a spiritual element in our lives may even help us heal when suffering from a physical or mental condition.
For myself, having faith has been and is an integral part of my life and spiritual wellness. There is no doubt that in all of the pain after Mr Darcy’s attempt I had an overwhelming sense of Divine intervention and grace that gave me the strength to get through and has left me with a peace that I cannot explain. It was a faith-based resource that gave me the hope that we can live well in spite of a mental health diagnosis and that gave me the tools that I desperately needed at the time to better manage as a caregiver.
References
http://www.differencebetween.net/language/difference-between-mind-and-soul/
https://www.viacharacter.org/character-strengths/spirituality
https://betterandbetterer.com/what-are-the-8-dimensions-of-wellness/
https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/December-2016/The-Mental-Health-Benefits-of-Religion-Spiritual
18-02-2020 10:29 AM
18-02-2020 10:29 AM
Rather fittingly this morning an article popped up in my Facebook feed that talked about 6 ideas to live more meaningfully this year which fitted in so well with our present dimension of wellness.
Renew your mind: spiritual wellness and character building are interlinked and they reflect core values that we hold.
Find community: a place where you can belong (as @Sophie1 mentioned in our social wellness discussion). Find others who share your passions and concerns. Groups that reflect deeper values such as justice, social or environmental concerns often bring deeper meaning to our lives.
Work out where your treasure is:Two things really testify to what we prioritise: how we spend our money and what we do with our time. Are we investing our time and money to make a difference with what we say we care about, or is there a disconnect between our heart and our actions?
Make space for others. Our lives are enriched when we connect with others. One piece of advice I read was to start casual, take small steps, tolerate strange situations and strangers, and let it evolve when something clicks.
Connect with and care for nature: Whether you live in the city, or in a regional area like me, there is nothing like connecting with nature to restore the soul as well as teach us lessons about restoration and care. Even sowing some herbs in a pot on your veranda connects you to cycles of life and creation and can teach you so much about caring for our earth. What are some simple steps you can take in your own life to reduce your impact on the earth? Maybe you could start by making a list of 10 things you could commit to this year. It could include things like swapping to green energy, using a reusable coffee cup or reducing rubbish generation.
Find your still place: Being still, praying, meditating etc can take on a variety of forms and finding a place where our hearts are stilled and free from distraction can lift our spirits. For some, myself included, is linked to environmental wellness, as my place is in the garden. However there have been many times when I have been on bush walks or out in nature where I have felt a sense of wonder and what I refer to as Divine presence.
20-02-2020 09:48 PM
20-02-2020 09:48 PM
Ohhh @Former-Member you have covered a lot here and loving it
Nature , a running creek or river , the rain forest feels sooo relaxing , I love sitting in a creek or next to a river , feels sooo awesome
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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