Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

[Mindcarers]

CherryBomb - an example might be asking your partner to set aside time to listen to your needs and your day and to attend to you and what you're saying without interrupting and bringing up their own issues.

[tancate]

I don't enable my partner but getting him to do as much as he possibly can for himself and trying to go outside his comfort zone. I have suffered from anxiety and panic myself and find the best way over these things are facing them so I tryto encourage him to do the same. If he gets too much I call the crisis team to help as they're the professionals.

[CherryBomb]

@Mindcarers earlier tonight you asked if people had conversations with their partners. I imagine that having 'this' conversation might be challenging. What are some ways you can bring up challenging topics and have a productive conversation? 

[Shaz51]

Thank you @Mindcarers

Yes , it is not easy , we still have a lot of ups and downs and I do get feelings now --"WHAT ABOUT ME ""

[Mindcarers]

CherryBomb- picking an appropriate time when you wont be interrupted, when you both feel calm and optimistic yourself. Try to be objective, focus on the behaviour and not the person. The approach is to see the problem as something that you and your partner can tackle together without making them the problem

[Mindcarers]

Shaz51- Yes. Keep asking that question and talking to your partner and key people in your family. Make your needs one of your priorities.

[tancate]

Thank you CherryBomb for your words. I feel more positive about my relationship after contributing and reading posts on this forum. Thank you for the phone number for me to call about carers groups. It seems like most people on this forum are accepting their partners MI and are sticking by them. 

[Mindcarers]

tancate contributor- that number 1300 554 660 will work across Australia.

[CherryBomb]

Great advice @Mindcarers around staying objective and not making an issue of the person. Also good point about defining the issue, and then working towards a common goal together. 

And yes @tancate, it's great to see that people are accepting of their loved one's MI, and sticking by them.  Though, this is not to say that if people do need to leave that it's bad. I think what tonight's conversation is showing  is that it is possible to change and improve how things are within a relationship. 

@Mindcarers and others on here, what can people do if it seems like differences within your relationship are irreconcilable? 

[Mindcarers]

CherrBomb- it may be a good idea to try counselling if you're having trouble reconciling differences on your own. But if it is irreconcilable, you may have to consider leaving the relationship in as constructive manner as possible.