Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

[Mindcarers]

Hi Melstar71, this is a common situation that carers find themselves in, sometimes our partners need someone to care for them in this way but long term this is not what you got into the relationship for, how could you try and manage this?

[tancate]

It sounds like most people posting on here are women which I find comforting that others are going through caring for a partner with a mental illness and have positive attidues about dealing with it. 

[Shaz51]

Hi @Mindcarers, do you mean handleing it another way ??

[Mindcarers]

Hi SunnyDay, it sounds like you have managed this situation as best you could, it's very hard when your loved ones lacks insight and won't accept any help

[CherryBomb]

I think a few of us could relate to this:

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@Valociraptor89 wrote:
What are the odds of someone with a mental illness being able to successfully care for someone with a physical illness? I adore my partner, but I'm questioning how much either of us is good for each others quality of life..

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Knowing that your loved one/partner can better can offer hope, but what happens if this seems like it's not possible or that the periods of unwellness are too infrequent? I think it's extremely difficult to care for someone who doesn't care for themselves. I'd rather be a 'support' in this sense. Of course, there may be moments when they are unable to care for themselves and make wise decisions, but in the periods of wellness, maintaining wellness could be approached as a team. What do others think? To @Melstar71 point about nagging, if you are both work towards on common goal, perhaps it's could be considered as reminding?

[Melstar71]

I've set some boundaries and I had to take over the finances. If he needs anything I give him cash but he has no access to credit cards etc due to past experiences of purchasing and giving the card away to other people. Having set boundaries are helping.

[Mindcarers]

Hi Tancate, there are many carer groups around for adults, you can call the Mind carer helpline and we can assist you to find a more appropriate group - phone us during business hours and we can assist 1300 554 660 - from any state in Oz

[Mindcarers]

Hi Shaz51, great strategy that works well in many situations, sometimes waiting to address difficult conversations is a good strategy

[Former-Member]

Hi @mindcares,
I have a plan and resources to leave should the need arise but I worry sometimes that this might be the wrong approach. Maybe not accepting enough

[tancate]

A facilitator at a carers group said don't lose sight of the person you feel in love with before the illness took over or arose. I find I live in hope that my husband will stay in recovery for longer than he is unwell or a miracle will happen and a cure found for mental illness sufferes. I cherish the good times too.