Topic Tuesday// MEN-tal Health // Tuesday 28th November 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

[Bon_courage]

@Shaz51 Thanks. I really like that you mention play too. So important to allow ourselves moments of joy too.

[Oaktree]

Yes I agree @chibam 

Hubby and I are very lucky.

We are in a very loving marriage of 30 years duration. We never argue. Once in a while we will disagree but he usually lets me have my way. I am blessed!!!

Meggle

[Bon_courage]

Q: How might men be able to navigate the ever changing face of support? 

Here it is where it gets tricky. 

Support networks pop up and disappear as fast as you can google them. 

It comes down to resources most of the time and cyclical funding models that respond to whatever societal issue is deemed pressing at the time.  

I normally prefer a proactive approach. It is not really about what will I do, where will I go if I, or someone I know, is unwell but rather let me figure out how can I build my resilience and learn tools to face the inevitable challenges life will dish out.  We can be sure of one thing unfortunately. We will, in the course of our lifetime go through times of crisis. So how do we respond or better said, how do we prepare? 

Mental health wellbeing is just as important as physical health. Ask yourself what feels good, right and positive as far as my emotional wellness is concerned and build around that. Look at the past for inspiration.  

For example, if I recognise that I truly value connection, well it may be helpful to do something about it. Call your mates (don’t wait for them to call you), join a club, belong to an organization. 

Chat to your GP when you are feeling well. Don’t wait for the symptoms to arise. A short consult can yield interesting results. Be curious and open. Remember it’s okay to be vulnerable, actually it is powerful! 

I don’t mean to sound overly simplistic here, I recognise that any shift in attitudes can require countless hours of emotional toil. You just don’t have to do it alone. We’re in it together. We all are. 

[Oaktree]

@Bon_courage 

With hubby refusing to access support when he needs it, I might talk to my mental health case manager about this. If I end up sick I will ask her to check in on hubby too. Maybe force some support on him?

Not sure he would be honest with her but it would give him opportunity.

Meggle

[Healandlove]

Hi everyone.  My husband has complex-PTSD just diagnosed this year and he has found a psychologist he feels comfortable with. I think if m9re mem talked about mental health daily he would find it easier to relate. It's hard when his upbringing did not allow him a safe space to have emotions. It's very hard to hear him say he wishes he was a robot so he didn't have to deal with feelings.

[Bon_courage]

@Oaktree I feel creating opportunities is an important element of it.

[chibam]

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@Bon_courage wrote:

Q: How might men be able to navigate the ever changing face of support? 

Here it is where it gets tricky. 

Support networks pop up and disappear as fast as you can google them. 

It comes down to resources most of the time and cyclical funding models that respond to whatever societal issue is deemed pressing at the time.  

I normally prefer a proactive approach. It is not really about what will I do, where will I go if I, or someone I know, is unwell but rather let me figure out how can I build my resilience and learn tools to face the inevitable challenges life will dish out.  We can be sure of one thing unfortunately. We will, in the course of our lifetime go through times of crisis. So how do we respond or better said, how do we prepare?

---

I can't help but feel we're getting mixed signals here...

"Don't be too 'manly' to reach out for help..."
"Don't count on there being help when you reach out..."

I'm hearing differant messages now. Don't know if anybody else is?

[TideisTurning]

It can be hard @Healandlove- tough emotions can be tough to deal with! Further to @Bon_courage's point earlier about the power of high profile individuals, there are a few well known men like Osher Gunsberg, Gary MacDonald and Anthony Field who have spoken openly about their mental health experiences. I wonder if highlighting or pointing to them, or other men like them might help? 

[Bon_courage]

@Healandlove Thank you so much for posting and being here. Our upbringing can play a big part in it. Especially if we haven't been allowed to display, let alone talk about our emotions. It is important to remember that things take time. Mental health is never about the quick fix but rather perhaps a slow gradual shift in a direction where it's okay to be us, vulnerable, imperfect and with needs like everyone else.

[amber22]

And onto our last question of the night for @Bon_courage 

What are some resources that men might be able to gain some support from?