Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

[Former-Member]

How do you encourage someone with BPD to seek help?

I don’t know that I have an answer for this one either. Like @Phoenix_Rising, I have found it incredibly difficult to find help, despite actively trying for 19 years.

What I would say, is be there for your loved one when they come up against the many brick walls and dead ends in the health system. Reassure them that it is not a fault with them—the problem is a less than adequate health system.

[NikNik]

Beautifully said @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

@glitterbee thank you 🙂 its nice that someone gets it! and @lolamay thank you

[Sans911]

I haven't yet been able to comfortable explaining my diagnosis of BPD. There's so many parts of it that I'm still trying to understand myself, and I feel others will think I'm using my diagnosis of BPD to explain away 'bad' behaviours like overreacting, getting, angry, being clingy or attention seeking. I would like to find the right words to explain to people so they understand why I behave like I do, but also that having BPD is just a part of me, not all of me.

[Shaz51]

 Mr shaz  have major depressive and other diagnosis @Former-Member xx

[NikNik]

For those who may have missed the question we are up to:

Is there a way to explain BPD without people getting confused, scared, or mixing it up with bipolar?

[NikNik]

Is there a way to explain BPD without people getting confused, scared, or mixing it up with bipolar?

[Former-Member]

You’re right, @Phoenix_Rising — it is all trying to get help.

But when people talk about ‘manipulative’ behaviour, they are referring to behaviour where a person does something on purpose, to make another person respond in a certain way (regardless of what the inner reason may be).

Sorry I haven’t made it any clearer—I’ll try to think of another concrete example.

Manipulative behaviour by people with BPD, is almost always done out of desperation, because a person is trying to deal with inner pain and/or they are terrified of abandonment.

[Phoenix_Rising]

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Is there a way to explain BPD without people getting confused, scared, or mixing it up with bipolar?

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If someone who knew nothing about BPD asked me to explain it, I would say that I am hypersensitive to emotional stimuli. That is, I get super big feelings which flood my brain such that the thinking part doesn't work so well. In terms of distinguishing it from bipolar, I guess the easiest way to explain the difference would be to run through the diagnostic criteria for BPD and BP with them.

[roachy]

I'm with @Sans911 on this. It can be hard to interpret, especially as there are numerous traits that need to be present (according to the DSM), and we all most likely have a mix of what those traits are.

There's no one path to BPD.

The confused/scared part, I assume, may refer to people who are experiencing similar traits to what BPD comprises. In that case, the best bet is to get a GP referral to a Psychiatrist and be tested against the DSM criteria for a classic/clinical diagnosis. I really don't recommend using Google for answers because it's incredibly easy to find the answer that serves you best.

[Phoenix_Rising]

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@bookish wrote:

You’re right, @Phoenix_Rising — it is all trying to get help.

But when people talk about ‘manipulative’ behaviour, they are referring to behaviour where a person does something on purpose, to make another person respond in a certain way (regardless of what the inner reason may be).

Sorry I haven’t made it any clearer—I’ll try to think of another concrete example.

Manipulative behaviour by people with BPD, is almost always done out of desperation, because a person is trying to deal with inner pain and/or they are terrified of abandonment.

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@Former-Member People do things on purpose all the time to elicit help. I stand at the counter of a shop to make the shop assistant come and serve me. Is that manipulative?

If someone tries to elicit help due to pain, desperation and a fear of abandonment, surely that is help-seeking behaviour??? I truly cannot understand this concept. But I have been trying for twenty years, so it's totally ok if you can't make it clear tonight @Former-Member.