Topic Tuesday // Grief and Loss // Tues 3rd August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

[Daisydreamer]

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@amandaGL wrote:

Question 2: How do you define grief and loss? How are they related? @amandaGL 

Grief is a normal and adaptive reaction to the loss of something dear to us.   As the saying goes; grief is the price we pay for love...it’s a universal human experience and yet each person’s grief response is as unique as their fingerprint. It’s a powerful, unpredictable and often uncontrollable state of being that affects us physically, emotionally, mentally and sometimes spiritually.  

A loss involves change and a sense of realisation that some aspect of life we have valued or cherished has gone in the way we once knew it, whether it be the death of a person or pet, or a ‘living loss’.  Like the loss of a relationship; end of a career; physical or mental incapacity; loss of predictability in our lives (i.e. pandemics); loss of a home etc.

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I've found it really helpful in my grief @amandaGL to learn more about how the body reacts to loss, and how natural and innate that process is. It's given me permission to be how I need to be.

I also really appreciate the recognition of living grief and loss in your response. I think at the moment, we are seeing loss in so many ways, and grief componded with multiple losses (including living loss). 

I am really interested to learn more about this as the discussion progresses 

[ShiningStar]

Hi @Daisydreamer @amandaGL 

Sadly, in my experience, the grief and loss associated with living with mental health issues (for example changes in relationships, changes in health and wellbeing, losses in relation to a way of life, employment and financial wellbeing) is something that’s not always recognised or spoken about.

As such, it’s been incredibly challenging to find a safe space where I can share what’s happening for me.  

Therefore I’m still processing some of these issues and exploring ways to respond and take care of some of the losses that I’ve experienced 

Take care,

ShiningStar 

[Shaz51]

Wow @amandaGL , thank you  for that answer 

I have added a few more to my list of  loss and grief 

[Daisydreamer]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss @Owlunar. This quote is so powerful: "Sitting with grief is really hard - but we cannot get away from it whatever we do - it's better to learn as much as we can while living with it"

It sounds like you have worked to find some meaning and learning from the grief, and it has changed you moving forward. 

I would be curious to hear if others have found things they've learned through grief and loss?

[amandaGL]

Hi @Poppyfriend543 , there is a lot of talk about the stages of grief and acceptance but grief is so unique for everyone we try not to work within a step by step framework.  However, working through your grief and processing it is something you can do at any time and is definitely worthwhile.   I think it's really brave of you to do so but could give you so much more self-awareness.  

[Owlunar]

That's  one reason we have funerals @Zoe7 

We needs this Rites of Passage - it is the beginning of acceptance - it is the beginning of the process of recovery - and it is public - not at all for the deceased but for the living

Every death changes us and change is painful - I really understand

And it is so much harder when there is no justice

We are here for you

[Zoe7]

@Owlunar For me the sudden death and the way he died is something I cannot really grasp - still angry at no justice and therefore seemingly no worth to his life ...cannot forgive 

[Arizona]

Thank you very much for inviting me. I have experienced a lot of grief and loss in my life. I also feel very sad that I have lost years (decades) out of my life due to depression. 

I was just beginning to write 'my story' in the Our Stories section but I had to stop because it was making me too sad and I think it is bringing up traumatic memories. 

I will be 50 in a few days and I just want to try as much as possible to live in the present and look forward to the future.

I don't think I will be able to participate because I feel too sad but thank you for thinking of me. Grief and loss is a big part of the recovery journey. 

[Daisydreamer]

Covid has definitely added an extra level of complexity to grief @Zoe7 with not being able to travel or attend funerals. It sounds like that has really added to how hard this last year has been in grieving him

[ShiningStar]

Hi @Poppyfriend543 

It's lovely to see you here tonight 

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your loved one 

Sending you some very gentle and caring hugs 

Take care,

ShiningStar