Topic Tuesday // Grief and Loss // Tues 3rd August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

[Owlunar]

I'm glad you are here tonight @Zoe7 

I remember you lost a friend last year - a person who you had known for a long time

It takes a long time when someone has gone forever - it really causes a lot of pain - I was totally unprepared for that kind of loss

[Daisydreamer]

Question 2: How do you define grief and loss? How are they related? @amandaGL 

[ShiningStar]

Hi @Zoe7 

It's lovely to see you here tonight 

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss

Sending you some very gentle hugs 

Take care,

ShiningStar 

[amandaGL]

Question 2: How do you define grief and loss? How are they related? @amandaGL 

Grief is a normal and adaptive reaction to the loss of something dear to us.   As the saying goes; grief is the price we pay for love...it’s a universal human experience and yet each person’s grief response is as unique as their fingerprint. It’s a powerful, unpredictable and often uncontrollable state of being that affects us physically, emotionally, mentally and sometimes spiritually.  

A loss involves change and a sense of realisation that some aspect of life we have valued or cherished has gone in the way we once knew it, whether it be the death of a person or pet, or a ‘living loss’.  Like the loss of a relationship; end of a career; physical or mental incapacity; loss of predictability in our lives (i.e. pandemics); loss of a home etc.

[Zoe7]

Like you too @Owlunar It was sudden and unexpected - makes it so much harder.

[Daisydreamer]

@Zoe7 your forums family is right here beside you

[Owlunar]

My son died in Juvenile Detention 35 years ago @Daisydreamer 

For years I was able to get on with life but there were times when it was some kind of nightmare I couldn't wake up from and I had a pain in my heart that was enormous

I allowed myself to stay with this even though people told me it would destroy me but it didn't. Time passed and I found I became a better person because of it

Sitting with grief is really hard - but we cannot get away from it whatever we do - it's better to learn as much as we can while living with it

[Poppyfriend543]

Hi everyone, I look forwards to tonights talk and learning lots, not really sure what stage of acceptance i am at after losing a loved one. As I did not seek counselling at the time and i realise that probably now as i am older it would be a good time to think about that sort of thing 🙂 

[Zoe7]

@Daisydreamer @amandaGL I think the biggest problem with losing my dear friend last year has been he was in a different state - travelling around - and his death need not have happened. Both of those things are hard as there was no justice for his death and no funeral I could attend to start that grieving process - it still feels very unreal as a result.

[Owlunar]

Yes @Zoe7 

There is the death and a sudden death - sometimes a violent death - it can be a double or tripple whammy and you are right - there is never time to get passed it easily because life goes on and many people are unaware of how devastated we are and seem unable to give us that time