Ask Anything Monday!

[mrkotter]

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@Sadgirl wrote:

I have been on facebook for not very long.  I have noticed that when i am on facebook and look around i get really annoyed and a bit jealous of what others are doing.  I hate looking at what others do.

it can be really upsetting to watch what others are doing.

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This is an actual thing. It's been heavily reported on over the years. People always put their best face forward on fb - holidays, events, picturesque scenery, loved ones, etc etc. But everyone is like everyone else. None of us are living the lifestyle we put forward on fb. 

[mrkotter]

So what do others think? Surely heaps of us have had the same problem!

I'm just going to tag a few people that I know are active at the moment.

@Former-Member @Former-Member @Appleblossom @Kurra 

[Former-Member]

I think for me I've been the opposite. I've never posted on Facebook much, hardly ever, but maybe that's because I'm scared I'll overshare. The strange thing is that I've been thinking about my oversharing on here all day and have definately overshared here in the last 24 hours. I guess the consequences aren't the same here as others have highlighted. I thought your idea @mrkotter was good about signing out. It makes it that step harder. Perhaps they'll have to make an app for us oversharers (and possibly drunk people - from the movie The Internship)😝

[mrkotter]

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@Teej wrote:
Perhaps they'll have to make an app for us oversharers (and possibly drunk people - from the movie The Internship)😝

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I think they already do for text messages. You set the app to block outgoing texts to a number you specify for a certain amount of time. I believe they made the app to stop drunk people messaging their ex and making a fool of themselves. Not a hundred per cent sure on this one.

[Appleblossom]

I keep looking for places where it is appropriate to be me.

Facebook never attracted me and neither of my biological children ever partook, cos their dad was an IT dude and ridiculed it in the way that people in computers for a long time can do. So the most important people for me werent even on it ... it didnt matter at all.

My son took me to "The Social network" to Instruct me about how stupid it was .. he didnt realise that I already knew that and wasnt going to waste any of my precious energy feeling left out.

I opened a twitter account but forgot about for years at a time .. no great loss there .. though i do check my daughter's tweets .. when I told her that I loved to do that .. she told me off for stalking her .. its kinda not the same thing when it is your mother or when it is a random infatuee ... is that a word???

I was struck by your comment @mrkotter about getting an account otherwise you seemed weird. There are many subtle ways to coerce us to join in or feel left out ..

Now there is a bit more diversity on the net .. thankfully  it is no longer a twitter vs fbook choice ... it is an evolving world ... I am curious where it will go to.

@BlueBay why bother sgn on .. a lot of people are closing their accounts ... there other great things to do online. The setup of facebook doesnt seem to bring out the best in people.

Re the "over share" .. last weekend I was in a story telling workshop and had to share with one other..

he told me a suicide story .. that was well crafted .. I told my story witholding the suicide bit ... til after feedback .. I know it freaked him out a little that it was my brother .. though he tried to contain it .. a lot of the time I just havent realised how difficult my story is .. just to hear ...

[Former-Member]

Doesn't mean your story shouldn't be told though @Appleblossom. I guess that's the point here really for much of this oversharing means others can feel uncomfortable with some of your realities. 

[1stepup61]

Hi, i was thinking perhaps adjust your privacy/ security/settings for who can see your posts. You can set them to only me or friends. If you did this while you are well, then when you are not well it may be to much of a hassle to change it back, or if you are like me forget that i changed them. I think everyone has ranted at some time on fb, i know i have said my bit, then thought OMG,Why did i say that? There is nothing wrong in removing a post, if you are not happy with it. i have taken stuff off my timeline. Every so often i go in to my settings and unsubscribefrom accounts i have been following, that stir me up and keep all the cute and funny posts that make me laugh! Maybe the social site to go to if you feel you want to vent could be Sane, as this is where i feel I am heard by understanding people here. Also, you could look back to the comments you get and find what you said is ok, because we all have had bad days to when we are unwell. I enjoy FB as it is helping me connect with my family and friends, i dont get to see as i have treatment, so keep your FB account and vent here on Sane, where you can vent and be understood. Bye for now, 1stepup

[Former-Member]

@Appleblossom, i can relate to not being on Facebook. Its a very shallow place. My son once accused me of stalking him too. They don't want to see it as our way of caring or taking an interest in their life. So without him or my sister or any of my small circle of friends there, it seemed pointless so i deactivated too. Also, i don't think is a safe place.

Things I've noticed about loss - every journey is different, individual & impossible to fully competent, its not a competition & should never be compared.

I'm glad you are so open about your experience - to raise awareness & help people like me not feel so alone.

[Mazarita]

Seems the general consensus is: overshare here on the SANE forum instead of on Facebook. That's what I do too. Barely post on Facebook or on Twitter and when I do it's not personal stuff. I'll do a bit of 'liking' of other people's posts but that's about it. This is an anonymous forum so what you post here is much better protected and less likely to be used against you on Facebook. Best wishes!

[NikNik]

Happy Monday everyone!

Thank you to @BlueBay @Shaz51 @mrkotter @Former-Member @Former-Member for your contribution to the last Ask Anything Monday.

This week's question:

So I just started a new job, about a week ago. I really want to be successful this time around. My husband got accepted into TAFE, so he won't able to work as much and we'll need me to work to help support us.

Historically with past jobs I do alright for a few months, but then I start to get overwhelmed by anxiety and depression and start calling in sick before I eventually quit. My longest held job was for 8-9 months. I've only ever worked part-time before, but this job is full time so I'm worried I'll reach that point sooner now. But I really like this job so far, it's easy, I can listen to music at work, and I don't have to work with customers.

I do see a psych and take meds. But also, since I'm working full time I'm not sure when I can schedule to see my psych, I usually see her weekly, but I'm working during her work hours as well so I'd have to take some time off to be able to see her, and I feel my job might get annoyed with me taking time off every week. Especially when it gets to be the busy season.

Basically, I'm not sure how to approach my manager/human resources or what to say or what to ask for to help me be successful. Does anyone have any advice on working while dealing with mental illness? Thanks.