Ask Anything Monday!

[Former-Member]

I really struggle with this.
A lot.
I'm lucky that I have a great psychiatrist and GP and when I have been ill they have been very supportive.

I really struggle with admitting that I'm feeling ill and getting support. I hate admitting that I'm unwell and I feel like a failure. I also find that my family support feels like nagging. They mean well, but it just adds to the burdens I have to carry.

I've found that some people just 'get' it. And even if they don't get my illness, they are supportive in their own way. I have a friend with a lovely family that I am always welcome to come visit. When I'm feeling really ill, even though we never really talk about my illness, being able to be in a sane and normal environment when my brain is crazy really helps.
I have lost a lot of friends when I was ill and reaching out for support, so I guess you need to be careful on who you lean on and how hard.
I also use these forums when I'm not feeling well and I just need to vent. There are lots of supportive people online and I know there are other chat groups out there if that may help. There are also support groups you can meet up with in your local area that I've heard about. I'm not sure where to find these groups now, but other sane users might know how to find out about where they are?
I guess don't get too stressed if your friends and family don't understand. They don't need to understand to help and there are lots of people out there that do understand.

[Shaz51]

Hello, welcome to the forum

Hi @Former-Member, @NikNik, @Snuchu,

My husband has clinical depression, anxiety and now maybe Bipolar11

we have lost a lot of friends, they don`t come and visit becuse they really don`t understand

 don't get too stressed if your friends and family don't understand, our families don`t visit us but I know that they will do anything for us if we need help

and I keep in touch with all our families for my husband , if i don`t no one will be there for my husband

[NikNik]

Happy Monday Everyone!

Thanks to @Snuchu @Former-Member @Shaz51 for responding to last week's AAM!

This week's question is:

I have noticed over the course of the last few months I have been unable to focus on anything. The problem has been going on for a few years but I haven't noticed how bad it is until recently. I have no problem talking to people, hanging out with my friends, doing well at work - but as soon as I try to sit down and read a book or complete a task that needs my concentration, I can't focus on it for more than a few minutes.

My mind is constantly wandering, and unless there is something directly in front of my face demanding attention, I cannot be present. TV is an easy one for me, I get absorbed - but I think it's because I don't have to think.

I have struggled with anxiety in the past but this feels like something different- though it does make me anxious. I want it treated. I am sick of constantly bouncing around and never being able to sit still for more than 10 minutes.

Does anyone have any tips on how to maintain concentration? Should I seek help for this or am I just lazy?

[Robertmelbourne]

It might be worth having a medical / dietary check-up to see if there is a specific physical factor afflicting powers of concentration. Many people find, for instance, that whatever benefit they get from caffeine and sugar in terms of keeping awake, they pay for in terms of having "a grasshopper mind" and not being able to concentrate on mental labour.

You don't mention what age you are or what your sleep pattern is. But at any age, sleep deficits will play havoc with cognitive achievement. This is why despotic governments have traditionally placed such a high emphasis on using sleep deprivation as a means to torture prisoners.

I speak as one whose powers of concentration are much weaker (and always were much weaker) than people would expect from my general intelligence, such as it is, my literacy, and my ability to speak in grammatical sentences. Any mental disorder, be it anxiety or unipolar depression or bipolar or OCD or what not, will impede concentration. (Anxiety and OCD are my two most severe disorders.)

Just a few suggestions that you might want to consider. I can't imagine any doctor objecting to you wanting a check-up of the sort that I've described.

[Former-Member]

Discipline - The mind is like a muscle that needs training. Meditation, Mindfulness, Yoga, TaiChi etc are all good for the mind & body.There's plenty of online material to help you with this. Start small 5-10min & build up. Stored up energy might need an outlet - maybe jogging, walking & weights. And nutrition - vegetables are the building blocks there. OMEGA-3 (fish) helps the mind. Do you have an addiction that needs detoxing?;Have your dr check your bloods in case of some underlying condition. Also, Also, what's stressing you - Does your lifestyle need changing?

[Former-Member]

I agree with both these posts. It's definitely worth checking out physical causes. I know for me, when my iron levels get really low, concentration is literally impossible. Beyond that, I guess there are many things that could be causing it and they would depend on what else is going on for you, but if you feel that your concentration in particular has deteriorated, more than other symptoms, I would suggest making a trip to your GP. 

Good luck!

[1stepup61]

Hi, I would go and see your doctor. Do you have a supportive GP?  I have struggled with anxiety to and the two things I think maybe happening for u could be: you may have an issue on your mind which is hard to figure out so a referral to a counsellor may help figure it out and another thing a doctor can ask you questions to see if you need medicine for anxiety or if you have other health concerns that need treatment. I have found its good to have a caring GP that I can talk to about  my anxiety and concerns. Asking your family or friends if they have or know of a good GP is helpful to, because they have seen them and can recommend the doctor if you don't have one yet. If your friends want to know what's wrong and you don't want to tell them why, just say you want to get a checkup! if u r under 25, there is a good service you could walk into or phone, called Headspace, it's free. I hope you feel better soon!🤗

[Kurra]

Asking someone if they're OK is something I find easy. Helping other people is also easy for me BUT asking for help for myself is very difficult. Many a time I've ended up in extremely dangerous situations because I haven't asked for help.

I've thought deeply about why I can't admit that I need help. Is it pride? Is it that I don't want to appear needy. That I don't want to appear vulnerable or am I scared that by asking for help I'm giving away my control of the situation? I still don't know.

I do know that this is something that I will benefit from if I can 'just ask for help ' rather than leaving it until my world has fallen apart and other people (the law, ambos, doctors & hospital) are forced by law to help me often against my will.

Slowly but surely I am starting to ssk for help sooner rather than later but I'm still waiting far too long to do so. Early this year I tecognised that apart from my bipolar I also have a serious problem with anxiety. I am now taking an antidepressant that is also very effective for anxiety. This has made an extraordinary difference to my life and I now believe that if I needed to ask for help now it would be a lot easier than it has in the past.

I know that I haven't really given you any answers but maybe you will find a few different things to think about.

All the best.

[1stepup61]

I liked your honest answer! That's why I joined this forum today, to hear others experiences like yours. I to have struggled to understand why I could like you ask others if they are ok, but not do the same for myself? Being Ask Anything Monday, I have put in a question that might be answered in next weeks forum which I think may relate to your reply as well. I have not wanted to accept my diagnosis which has made things harder on myself because my illness has been critical and I am forced to seek assistance. I think I've left it to long, because I am frightened of accepting what this means for me and because, I was not encouraged to put my needs first. I still know people who think the best way for me to get well is to get out there and look after others and forget about my troubles, as they put it. But I have been very unwell this time, I was admitted and I have decided that if I can learn about my illness and what I need to do for myself, maybe I can maintain my mental health better by learning, reaching out and taking responsibility for myself and take care of me, give myself a chance. It's not been easy, as every organisation I have tried in my community have long waiting lists, but I will keep trying and today's good because I am reading your honest story and i feel understanding to! Thanks🤗

[Kurra]

Hi @1stepup61

You've hit the nail on the head in your last paragraph! Learn as much as you can about your diagnosis. For me above all else taking responsibility for my own mental health lead to acceptance, the beginnings of recovery and ultimately a return to the Kurra I was born to be.

Keep talking. Someone's around most of the time.

Hugs