Dearest @Doldip15 

You and your intelligence.....

I had this grief counselling that is I guess a thing for today but for my eyes - phone books is a creative and clever  way to go. Raw. 

But my trauma counselling definately freed me from so much. It took about 5 months to see how it connected for me. It's called the Judith Richards trauma therapy. TRTt. It cost money.

It's freed me from my particular childhood. But ide say our Mums are similar in personality defaults. 

You wrote - ! I could see her in a different light as the harmed person she was who couldn’t have done any better......,

.It made it possible to cope with family.... become good friends with my older sister with whom I remain good friends to this day! "

Yes yes !!! But the lies ! How did you manage that ? 

My memory is too awful to write about. 

My dream is to be friends with my brother's. My oldest half sister lives in America and she verbally says she's just waiting for her mother to die so she can inherit her millions. . I can't think like that. 

Although when younger Im embarrassed to admit i have. 

Why does emotions and money are so intertwined ?

Thankyou @Doldip15