This poem came about because I would constantly apologise in therapy for everything, my moods, my zombie brain, my stammering & stuttering and after explaining something always asked if it made sense. I didn't realise how often I apologised for just being me until my Tdoc brought it up. So this became my homework and the following prose flooded out. 

Sorry, Not Sorry

Confused by reality,

Shunned by the crowd,

Rejected, neglected,

Tumultuous shroud,

Misled by emotions,

Thoughts edgy and tense,

I’m sorry, not sorry,

Now is that making sense?

Coerced into action,

But frozen in time,

Tormented, demented,

Unfortunate rhyme,

Contrite and repentant,

Mind sits on the fence,

I’m sorry, not sorry,

Now is that making sense?

Dragged into the present,

But still hugging strife,

Deluded, secluded,

Exploiting my life,

Distressed and remorseful,

No joy to dispense,

I’m sorry, not sorry,

Now is that making sense?

Ignited by anger,

Exhausted by grief,

Embittered, acquitted,

Degenerate thief,

Embroiled and belittled,

Unhealthy expense,

I’m sorry, not sorry,

Now is that making sense?

Conditioned by madness,

Sedated by tears,

Frustrated, negated,

Surrounded by fears,

Embattled and wounded,

The pain is immense,

I’m sorry, not sorry,

Now is that making sense?

Connected by nothing,

Truncated by fate,

Ravenous, cavernous,

Mental health bait,

Dejected and lonely,

With no recompense,

I’m sorry, not sorry,

Now is that making sense?

© BB - 08 Sep 2020